Affinity and Desire
by klarita1
Summary: When Elizabeth's parents died, she was forced to go to live with her estranged cousin Fitzwilliam Darcy and his sister in Pemberley. But, what did her fate plan for her and how their lives got tangled?
1. First impressions

**Chapter 1: "First Impressions"**

_"Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind." -Kurt Vonnegut_

Elizabeth was one and twenty years old, when her parent's died in an accident. Now, she was all alone in the world, there was not a single person, who she could call him/her "family", she was an orphan. Perhaps there are those who are able to go about their lives unfettered by such concerns. But for those like them, their fate is to face the world with solitude, chasing through long years the shadows of vanished parents. There is nothing for it but to try and see through their missions to the end, as best they can, for until they do so, they will be permitted no calm.

She was forced to live on her own, with her beloved parents existing on in her memories. She was not going to see them ever again, not able to touch of laugh with them for the rest of her life. There were many nights she could not close her eyes and fall asleep or breath from crying, there were many days as well, in which she had not seen the sunlight. She used to spend most of her days locked up in her room, reading a book, trying to forget all the misfortunes that had come to her.

Now, she must live with some people she did not know or heard of them before. Fitzwilliam and Georgiana Darcy was her family now and her home was not longer a lovely house in Longburn, it was a grand estate called Pemberley. Darcy was a distant cousin of Elizabeth, his father related to Mr. Bennet, and he was the only relative she now had. He proved to be not so friendly or compassionate and most likely she was going to dislike him, if she already had not. It was the letter, he said her few days ago _"As for you have no other place to stay, I am obliged to tell you that you are welcome here". _The man certainly had no feelings and he seemed miserably disagreeable, even from his style of writing. But, she did not have to like him to stay with him, for she had nowhere to go. It was going to be hard, to tolerate someone for the rest of your life, awful in the same way, but that was the designs fate had planned for her and she had no other option.

* * *

Elizabeth was frozen, she even forgot to breathe when she stepped out of the carriage and faced the grant estate, but grant was certanly not the description she would use. The place was marvelous and there was no doubt about that. But before she could start observing it, a deep voice behind her, interrupted her from her dream.

"You are here, at last" said a tall man, standing right behind her. His voice was harsh, as though he was angry and his expression could not be understood from Elizabeth. She opened her mouth to speak, but immediately she closed it again. He had something unpleasant on his face, but his features were very gentle and soft, he was handsome. Elizabeth, who had decided that she was not going to fancy him, so she rested on the fact that the most beautiful thing upon him was his blue icy eyes, but she knew deep in her heart that was not true. But, hearts can be deceived, it is the minds that do not change. "I am Fitzwilliam Darcy" he paused as he took a deep breath "your cousin."

"I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, cousin" she replied with bitterness in her voice, as she saw a servant taking her things inside the house.

"Let us go inside" he said and without taking a further look upon her form, he walked towards the house, in the same way like horses walked, proudly. Elizabeth, who tried so hard not to laugh as she realized the similarity, she followed him.

The house, now her house as well, had not fitted the description she had done when she first saw the outside. Marvellous did not fit at all. The inside was more majestic than anything she had ever seen in her entire life. But, before she could observe better the hall, she heard some quick footsteps approaching and she quickly strained herself. In a second, a young lady stepped out of a room and walked towards them. She had gold hair, a very elegant form and she walked with grace, not proudly at all.

"This is my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy" he said in the same tone as the first time he adressed to her.

Georgiana immediately approached Elizabeth too close and for one second she got frightened. But, instead the young lady hugged Elizabeth with all her strength. "I am so glad that you are going to stay with us".

Elizabeth immediately smiled, giving her the most beautiful smile she could have. Georgiana seemed so kind and gentle and she certainly possesed a good beart, not like her brother, who was stiff and proud. Because, Elizabeth believed in first impressions, for they stayed in your mind no matter how hard you tried to change them. There was always a part of them, which did not fade or could be forgotten. Finally, she spoke "Thank you"

"Come on" the young lady spoke again and grabbed Elizabeth's hand "let me show you the house." But, before she could say another word, the two ladies were in the staircase already, leaving the great Fitzwilliam Darcy speechless.

As the ladies were disappeared from his sight, he took some quick steps and deep breaths. He was suprised how warmly her sister received their cousin and even more gladly surpised how she seemed to like her. He knew that Georgiana was a gentle and friendly person, but he could not possible believe that she could welcome a stanger in that way. Because, Elizabeth Bennet was a stranger, at least that was how Darcy saw her.

* * *

This is the first chapter of my story, sorry for it's legth, I know it is short but I promise that the next one won't be. I hope that you like it, because I really do like the prospect of it. Tell me what you think, because I really need your opinion. Should I continue?


	2. Like a sin in a suit

**Chapter 2: Like a sin in a suit**

_"All things truly wicked start from innocence." -Ernest Hemingway_

A hour later, Elizabeth was left alone in her new bedchamber, which was vastly bigger than the previous one in Longburn. It was enormous and she seemed like a small ant inside, but the fact that she had to spend most of her days in such a room did not displeased her at all. The chamber was in the third floor, as all the other bedrooms and her own room was next to her lovely cousin. Elizabeth was still stunned by the greatness of the house and of what she had seen. She could not believe that such an estate, was now her residence, because everything seemed far more perfect, expect maybe one, the master of the house.

But, before she could take another look around, she heard a knock and immediately the door opened. A young girl stepped in, introducing herself as her private maid, who was here to help her get dressed for dinner, because it was about to be served. She also informed her that the dinner time was very precise and the master did not liked to be kept waited, so it was better for her to get ready soon enough.

"What dress should I bring, madam?" she quietly said.

"The dark grey" Elizabeth replied friendly. She was not yet used to the fact that all her dresses were dark coloured now, for it was a costum for young ladies who were in mourning, to wear such dull dresses, but most of all she could not get used to the fact of the loss.

"Yes, m'am" the maid replied as she tighten Elizabeth's corset.

"How long have you been working here?"

"More than three years." the maid said soflty. "And I am very satisfied"

"Really?" Elizabeth asked as though she did not believe her.

"Yes, most certaintly. I could not have a better or a kinder employer."

"How so?"

"Mr. Darcy is very kind and help us in any given chance."

"I see" she murmured.

Yes, she could see his kindness, at least he was kind enough to allow her to stay with them. It was obvious that he was forced to do so, nevertheless he proved to be a true gentleman. But, it was something upon him that Elizabeth did not like and not sure yet she decided that she should not let the prejudices blur her judgement.

* * *

Dinner was a pleasant affair; the dishes were delicious and the conversation was delightful. They were now seated on the drawing room, drinking the usual black tea with lemon and of the time, Georgiana engaged Elizabeth to conversation and she seemed to take very interest in her tastes and how her life was previously. Elizabeth replied to all the questions with great civility and a friendly smile. Darcy did not speak at all; not entirely, but most of the time. His voice was only heard when Georgiana addressed to him or she teased him. He used to seem so caring whatever concerned his sister and he spoke of her with great pride, the kind of pride that made Elizabeth admire him.

"Do you play, Elizabeth?" Georgiana suddenly asked her, breaking the silence.

"Yes, but I do not want to excite your anticipation" she paused "It seems that I hardly have the patience or the dedication to be truly expert."

"But, I would love to hear you play" she smiled brightly "maybe we can play a duet."

She laughed "No, that would not do. I do not wish to ruin your playing"

"You are too modest" she replied.

"Will you play for us, now Georgiana?" It was Darcy's voice, which was heard and immediately Elizabeth turned her face to look at him, just to see his eyes fixed on her. She smiled politely to him, trying to break the silent akwardness, but as she did, he immediately turned his look away.

"Yes, what should I play?" she asked as she stood up walking away towards the pianoforte.

But, before Darcy could reply, Elizabeth interrupted "What about the Swan Song?"

Darcy froze. "Are you fond of Schubert?"

"Yes, indeed I am, are you not?" she asked.

"I do not mind Schubert" he said and a small smile was formed upon his lips. That was indeed a pleasant surprise for both of them. Couple of seconds later, when Geogiana had already started her performance, Darcy spoke again, looking at her eyes "Do you ride?"

Elizabeth, who was seated next to him on the couch, felt his akward moves of his legs, but without hesitating she replied "I used to..." she paused "It is many years since I have not"

* * *

Five hours later, when everyone was retired, Elizabeth had not even tried to close her eyes, for she was afraid of what she would see. The face of her father, who loved excessively too much were always the first thing she saw, everytime she closed her eyelids. She could see him as though he was alive, in their library reading a book as usual, or sometimes walking with her in the garden. As she remembered all these, some tears fell down her cheek, but immediately she wipped them, not allowing herself to cry once more. She grabbed a candle and exited her room, walking down the stairs, entering the big library. But, as she closed the door behind her and turned her face to look the room, she saw someone in front of her. She saw a chest first, as she turned her look and immediately realizing how improper was that, she moved her look up, just to see Mr. Darcy's severe face.

"I am so sorry" she murmured, trying to hide her blush and she took a step back.

Darcy moved forward, closing the big distance between them "What are you doing here?" His eyes fell upon her form, she was wearing a white icy nightgown and a dark green robe and her brown hair was loose, forming curls. Even though her attire was totaly inappropirate, Darcy noticed how dangerously beautiful she looked with her hair down and how much the white colour suited her. He was fascinated by her, but that was not allowed to be thought or said. There must have been many years since he was so intrigued by a woman's appearance and to be exact, to be even tempted. He and his cousin Richard, when they were young and foolish, used to spend most of their nights with the company of young ladies, who welcomed their passionate affections, but that was over when they got older and wiser. And Darcy had promised to himself that the next time, he would be such improper with a lady, it was going to be in his wedding night.

"I could not sleep" she said and interrupted his thoughts. But, thank god she did, because it would be terrible if she would realize the impach she and his wicked thoughts had upon his member. "...so I hoped to find a book.."

"I see" he said and took a step away, making space for her to move forward. "You can choose whatever you fancy"

Darcy walked away and sat on his desk, trying to continue his reading, but im vain he could not. He just looked on the pages, not even attempting to just read some words. Elizabeth walked to the selves and grabbed a book, which caught her attention. But, instead of opening it, she immediately putted away and sat on the couch with something else she found on the table next to her.

When Darcy's eyes fell upon her once more, his eyes got widen "What are you going?" Elizabeth gushed as she heard his hash voice and turned her look at him, but Darcy spoke again "Young ladies are not supposed to read the newspaper."

She laughed a little, but as she saw that he was completely serious, her expression turned to severe "I do not think that informing yourself about what is happening around the world is so unacceptable that society does not allow it."

"Young ladies should be satisfied with reading novels, afterall the bussiness world is not their occupation." he said as he stood up "Your sex has a very specific task to accomplish."

"And what is that?" Elizabeth asked as the tone of her voice got higher.

"Young women should get accomplished and as for the married ones, succeding in the obligations of the marriage and being a mother."

"I see, but dont you think that you are underestimating us? " she laighed ironically as she saw his eyes getting darker. He approached her in nerve and when he was almost beside her, she spoke again " I really wish to know, what do you think that young ladies are allowed to do. I mean, of things that are actually intellectual stimulating."

Darcy froze; for he could not believe his ears. Could that young lady, who seemed so calm and gentle, possess so uncommon ideas? But that was not what made him furious, it was the fact that he could see the truth behind her words, he could see that she was not so entirely wrong. He could see his interest in her getting deeper, for she was not like the ladies of the ton and that what something that made him curious, in a good way.

"A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages to deserve the word and besides all these she must possess a certain something in air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word would be but half deserved."

"I would be not surprised if you have not met a single woman of such capacity and taste, application and elegance as you described, all united."

Darcy froze and without having anything further to say on that subject, he just replied "I think it is time for you to retire"

"Yes, I think I should" she said coldly and left the room without saying anything further.

Darcy sat on the couch, as he saw her disappearing from his sight and put his hands on his face, just to cover it. He, then took some deep breaths to calm himself not only from the odd things he heard her say but from his thoughts he had previously for her. It was thoughts that should not be allowed to run through his mind again, neither should he pursue them. And that was the moment, when he realised that there was a charm about the forbidden that made it unspeakable desirable. The truth was that he did not know why her face and her form kept coming to his mind, as desperately as he tried to avoid them. But they did and that was something that frightened him. But, it was not right and it would never be, maybe if he laid in bed, then he would be able to forget everything. And that was what he intended to do.

* * *

It this chapter I wanted Darcy and Elizabeth to come closer, by getting to know each other. But, the last scene in the library was pretty unexpected, it came to my mind out of the blue, so I thought to give it a try and I hope that you like it. Tell me your opinion about this chapter, please.


	3. Nevermore

**Chapter 3** : **Nevermore**

_"Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -  
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'  
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.' " -E. A. Poe, the Raven_

The next morning, Elizabeth had not eaten breakfast and the Darcy siblings assumed that she was not an early riser, but that was not true. The truth was that she had not slept at all; she tried to close her eyes for one moment as she laid in bed, but her father's face appeared immediately, making her awake. The sun had just started to rise when she exited the room and walked towards the library again and for her sake, she did not find Darcy again. She was all alone and as she looked around the room, she found the newspaper she left half-read in the same spot she had left it. Indeed, it was the same newspaper that was the cause of her disagreement with Mr. Darcy. She smiled a little; as she thought of their conversation last night, because she never believed the things he said to her. But, that was logical, because seeing Georgiana, who was raised by him as she had been told, she did fit in his description of accomplished ladies, but definitely he did not brought her up to be the kind of woman, who acted with specific standards. But, she could understand his reasons; for he was being hurt, embarrassed that a woman like her possessed and believed in such liberties. He was a man and as a common of this society, was forced -or even persuaded to act and believe that women could not accomplish more than men.

It was almost ten, when the door opened and a figure stepped in. Elizabeth, who was paying too much attention to the book she was reading, did not heard anything at all. It was a cough, which make her realize that she was not alone anymore and as she turned her look to see the interrupter, she saw a familiar face. Mr. Darcy's of course.

"I am sorry for disturbing you, madam" he said and he sat on the couch, just opposite to her. "I did not believe that I would find you here."

"Believed or hoped?" Elizabeth asked seriously, but as she saw his face got pale she laughed a little "I am sorry, I hope that you are not offending by my teasing."

Darcy took a deep breath as he heard her last words, indeed she was so good at teasing, but tease and cynic was some things that he was proficient. "Not at all." he paused as he tried not to form a smile "We had not the pleasure of your company in breakfast."

Elizabeth looked down on her lap and after taking a very deep breath, she replied "Yes, indeed, I was not hungry at all."

It was only then, when Darcy finally looked directly into herr eyes, just to see black circles under them. Her eyes were red and she seems really tired, like she had used all her energy, only breathing with effort. She seemed vulnerable and lost; like a child who had taken away all its toys and it was mourning in silence. She seemed to have scars inside her, maybe not many, just one, but that one seemed so deep that the bleeding was obvious. "Are you alright?" She nodded, as she was used to do that everytime she was asked this question. But, Darcy, who could see the truth, insisted "I mean, are you truly alright?"

"No, I am not" she said in complete frankness; her voice heard different. She was about to cry or tried with effort not to. But, when Darcy was about to speak again, she turned her face away just to hide it from him, but that was not possible. With no further thought, Darcy stood up and sat next to her. "You should not.." she tried to speak, but she broke. Tears were falling down on her cheek and she could not longer keep them in.

Darcy took her hand in his "It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know." he paused to think "It is like walking up the stairs to your bedchamber in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things." He squeezed her hand and as he did, Elizabeth immediately wiped her tears and took some deep breaths, just to calm herself and return to her normal breathing "But, people are meant to survive in any occasion. And think of this only the way of making you stronger."

"But how can I?" she spoke as she turned her gaze to him.

"Like I did" he responded immediately, but without wanting to mention himself and his experience, he said "I cannot tell you that the pain shall stop, but time is a great healer. Obligations and certainly love can help you feel less hurt."

"Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I'm heavy, like there's to much gravity on my heart."

"Yes, I know" he confessed as he remembered the way he felt the early days of their death of his parents. Neither of them said anything, they just kept looking in the eyes, like they had never seen each other before, like it was their first day of their acquaintance. It was an odd sensation, for they felt like they were not alone in the world, like they understood each other perfectly.

So that's how they lived their lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that was stolen from them, that was snatched right out of their hands - even if they were left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, they continued to play out their lives this way, in silence. They drew ever nearer to the end of their allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of insurmountable emptiness. Maybe, in some distant place, everything was already, quietly, lost. Or at least there existed a silent place where everything could disappear, melting together in a single, overlapping figure.

"I am sincerely sorry" she finally said, breaking the silence between them, but seeing his expression and his confusion, she continued "...that we had to face the loss of the same kind, that we are no longer ourselves and that we are left broken."

He simply nodded and without having anything to say or rather not wanting to extent the subject, he simply said "Let us not speak of it any longer." He paused, expecting her reply, but as he saw her nod, he continued "My cousin is expected this afternoon, I hope that you are well enought to delight us with your presence"

"Yes, indeed. I already should apologise to Georgiana for my morning absence."

Darcy smiled a little; but he did not make a comment about it. "I should leave you now, for I have some business I have to take care of." He immediately stood up and took some steps away from her, but suddently stopped snd turned his face to look at her. "When I finish my today's newspaper, I will bring it to you"

Elizabeth smiled as she realized how observative he was, because the newspaper was now on the desk, opened and used. But, that was not the only reason that the smile formed upon her lips, it was because he had chose to forget their disagreement as she already had. "Thank you, you are too kind"

Some minutes later, Darcy was seated in his private office, signing some papers, when Elizabeth passed through his mind. Her smile, that smile, which gave him before and her eyes, those bright eyes captured his thoughts for once more. And as he kept his gaze upon the papers, trying so hard to concentrate, in vain, her face kept appearing again and again, until he was so exhausted, trying to escape that he chose to close his eyes. What impact she had on him?

* * *

In this chapter I gave my attention mostly on Elizabeth's pain and on their relationship. I thought it was a great opportunity for them to come closer by their suffering. I hope that you are not disappointed and understand my reasons. This is another chapter I uploaded the same day, I was so eager to write and update, because of the love you gave me. Please tell me what you think of this chapter and if you still want me to continue, because your reviews ca make my day brighter.

Many of you keep mentioning my mistakes and I am sorry for the inconvenience, but in this chapter I tried to reduce them. I am sincerely sorry and I hope that you keep want to read the story and want to find what is going to happen next. Also, I want to thank each one of you who already followed and reviewed. You have no idea how much this means to me, because I am really fond of this story and I am really proud of myself of the way I am writing -and I am so sorry for any mistakes again.


	4. The accumulation of affection

**Chapter four: The accumulation of affection**

_"Beauty is in the eye of the gazer." - C. Bronte_

Colonel Fitzwilliam was the younger son of their uncle, Lord Fitzwiliam. His manners were very admired, for he entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well-bred man, and talked pleasantly; causing astonishment to Elizabeth as she realized how different he was from his cousin. He was seated next to her, in the draeing room, because Georgiana for once more chose to delight them with her performance and to be exact, it was a request from the Colonel himself, who claimed to miss her playing. Elizabeth and he, talked about Hertfordshire, of travelling and her stay at Pemberley, of new books and music, and they conversed with so much spirit and flow, as to draw the attention of Darcy, who was standing opposite from them, besides Georgianna, turning the pages for her. His eyes had been soon and repeatedly turned towards them with a look of curiosity, making him turning the pages slowly, causing Georgianna to remind him frequently the task.

When coffee was over and Georgiana had already finished her performance and was now seated next to her brother, discussing of the new book that she was currently reading, Colonel reminded Elizabeth of having promised to play to him; she sat down directly to the instrument, making both of Darcy siblings look at her. They were both surprised that she finally consented to play the pianoforte, because it was requested from the young lady in many occasions, everytime she refused. Colonel drew a chair near her and Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself and after a minute, she started. When half of the song was completed, Mr. Darcy walked away from his sister and moved with his usual deliberation towards the pianoforte, stantioned himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer's countenance.

"You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy by coming in all this state to hear me? But I will not be alarmed, you see there is a stubbornness about me that can never bear to be frightened by the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

"I shall not say that you are mistaken" he replied "because you cannot really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance enough to know that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own"

Elizabeth laughed heartily at this picture of herself and said to Colonel "Our cousin will give you a very pretty nation of me and teach you not to believe a word I say. I'm particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of a world, where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit. Indeed, it is very ungenerous in you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage and give me leave to say, very impolitic too, for it would provoking me to retaliate, and such things may come out, as will shock your relations to hear."

Darcy, who his heart had stopped in her first word, referring him as cousin, smiled a little and said "I am not afraid of you"

"Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of" cried Colonel "I should like to know how he behaves among strangers"

"You shall hear then - the first time I saw him was when he frightened me. I had just stepped out of the carriage; observing the estate, when I heard a harsh voice behind me. I turned my face, just to see his cruel expression. I must tell you I never got more frightened in my entire life" she paused "and without saying much, he walked towards the house. Such an unpleasant welcome and mpolite manners, don't you think?"

"I was not in the mood of socializing" he expressed himself.

"Neither was I, but this reason never dragged me away from civility, nor have I ever use to excuse my incivility"

"Are you so severe upon one's behavior?"

"No" she confessed "But, I cannot simply give excuse to everything, especially to those, who do not even care."

"You are perfectly right" he smiled a little "Neither can I forget the follies and vicies of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not so puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost forever."

"That is a failling indeed." She paused "Hopeless case is it not?"

They all laughed.

* * *

The next morning, Elizabeth was seated in the garden alone, enjoying the sunlight, because Georgiana was still sleeping and the gentlemen had gone riding. It was one hour later, when she saw them returning; they both bowed out of courtesy, as they saw her sitting there and Darcy entered the estate. On the contrary, Colonel approached her and sat next to her on the bench. He asked her if she slept well; if she enjoyed breakfast, and with forming a smile, she replied. She really thought of him a very agreeable fellow, he was beyond comparison the pleasantest man and he certainly seemed to take an interest in her. Even though, she only become an acquaintance with him the previous night, they seemed to fancy each other and they most definitely had the best stimulating conversations.

"How much do you intend to stay?" she asked.

"I know not. I am at Darcy's disposal, he arranges the business just as he pleases"

"And if not able to please himself in the arrangement, he has at least great pleasure in the power of choice. I cannot know anybody who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he likes than Mr. Darcy"

"He likes to have his own way very well" replied "but so we all do. It is only that has the better means of having it than many others, because he's rich and many others are poor. I speak feelingly. A youngest son, you know, must be inrured to self-denial and dependence."

"I imagine our cousin brought you down chiefly for the sake of having somebody at his disposal. I wonder he does not marry, to secure a lasting convenience of that kind. But, perhaps poor Georgiana does as well for the present; maybe he may do what he likes with me now."

"No" said Colonel Fitzwilliam "that is an advantage which he must divine with me. I am joined with him in the guardianship of her."

"Then, it seems that I am the only one available " Elizabeth replied and looked down on her lap.

"You need not to be frightened. Darcy is not heartless as he may seems. He is generous and kind man, one of the best I know." he paused and Elizabeth turned her face to look at him "Besides, I spend most of the year here and I assure you that you are safe from him. I was at war, have you forgotten? You cannot possibly think so ill of me, not to be able to protect you"Elizabeth laughed and when she was about to responce, she heard a voice from behind her. It was a servant, addressing to Colonel, saying that he is needed in Mr. Darcy's office. Without saying anything, he nodded and the man left. Colonel stood and left with a smile upon his face.

* * *

Elizabeth was seated with Georgiana in the library, as for she realized that this was her favourite room of all the others and she took great pleasure of sitting here, especially in the afternoon. The two ladies had grown very fond of each other and they considered themselves as sisters. The feeling of solitude had not so strong any longer and Elizabeth felt like she belonged somewhere, that she stopped being lonely, well not entirely, but most of the pain was gone. And that moment, she realized how right her cousin was, when he told her that it was going to lessen.

"Do you like it here, Elizabeth?" she asked in complete honesty.

"Yes, I think I do" she paused "But, I do miss my old life"

"Tell me about it" Georgiana requested.

Elizabeth started from how her routine was, when she used to take long walks around the neighborhood and the books she enjoyed reading, while she and her father were on the library. She even told her the few balls she attended and the only time she had gone to London and how enchanted she found the city. She mentioned Jane, her best friend, who was known as the local beauty and that she was the most kindest and purest person she knew.

"Do you feel Pemberley as your home?" she asked again.

"I am beginning to, but I do feel like I am a burden, a little."

"Do not say that; I am so glad that you are here." the young lady smile and touch her gand.

"Your brother does not have the same sentiments, I believe"

"Fitzwilliam?" Georgiana asked. "No, you are mistaken. He is very pleased, after all it was him, who wanted you to stay"

Elizabeth froze and her hands got colder. "What do you mean?"

"I..." she paused, feeling unease "Well, when he was asked by the lawyer, if it was acceptable for you to stay with us, since you had no place to go, he immediately consented. He did not even asked me if I agreed with that decision, he only announced it to me."

She could feel her heart smashed into milion pieces and for one second, she forgot to breath. She had misjudged him in the most terrible way and obviously he did not deserve it. All the descriptions about his character that various people kept saying this past days, were indeed true. But, how could she been so wrong? And that was the moment when she realized that appearances can be deceptive. People in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All people have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. Obviously she proved not to be one of them, but she never believed that she was not a true judge of characters.

By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are. It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, but the realization is very cruel, when you see how you let the prejudices and wrong judgements overtake you. You realize that you are half the person you used to be, for you let the evil inside you and Elizabeth certainly did not want that, she did not want her heart to have scars, for she knew well that they did not heal. She was a fool enough to think that you can know a person's character after a few moments of observation. _You can't._ You have no idea where his life began or how it was unfolded thus far. Only his present state can you witness. To judge someone at a glance is like reading one page in an open book, believing it's enough to confidently recite the story from beginning to end. True, one page may tell you much, but not nearly enough to accurately critique a book or evaluate a life.

"Oh" it was all that she managed to say.

"Please, do not say anything to him about it, he would not have wanted."

"I know" Elizabeth confessed.

* * *

This chapter is so diverting, you can see the unexpected progress of Elizabeth x Darcy and on the other hand, you can see sweet Colonel, who grows fond of Elizabeth. It took me many hours to write it, but I think it was worth it. I keep my uploads daily, because of you, when I finish writing the chapter, I upload it immediately. I only hope that my efforts are obvious. Thank you so much for the support! Tell me if you like how things turned out and do not forget to comment about this chapter.


	5. The awakening

**Chapter 5: The awakening**

_"You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre? Of course not: I need not ask you; because you never felt love. You have both sentiments yet to experience: your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which shall waken it." - C. Bronte_

The day passed much as the day before had come. Mr Darcy most of the time occupied Colonel and Elizabeth spend most of her day with Georgiana. It was only in the afternoon when the two parties shared the company of each other. That day, when they had finished lucheon and they were seated in the drawing room as always, they found the opportunity to discuss about London and the opportunitites it has to offer. Georgiana said that she had missed the city and that she would love to visit it soon and Darcy, who did not want to displease her, replied that he intended to go in few weeks and that she was welcome to join him. It was a very unpleasant moment for Elizabeth, when she realized that he forgot to mention her. Immediately, without wanting anyone to realize her discomfort, looked down on her lap, trying to hide her expression. Georgiana, who instantly realized the akwardness, addressed to Elizabeth, saying that she would only consent if her cousin aggreed. Elizabeth looked at her and smiled, offering her the warmest smile, she could give.

Darcy, who after Georgiana's remark, finally realized the awful thing he said and without wanting to extend his foolishness, took a book and started reading it. The truth was that he did not even paid attention to what he was reading, for his thoughts troubled him tto much. He had not the slightest intention to cause he discomfort, not to make her feel unwelcome, but he was not yet used to the idea of treating her as family, his family. He realized for the first time that Elizabeth should be treated as a Darcy, not only because she was staying at his home, but because she deserved it.

When Colonel, stopped talking to Georgina and when an akward silence prevailed, the young lady approached Elizabeth, asking her to take a turn about the room, claiming that she was seated for too long and wanted to stretch her legs. Elizabeth was surprise to such a suggestion but agreed to it immediately. Colonel, who smiled with civility to he ladies and after congratulating Georgiana for her splendid idea, turned his gaze to look at them. Darcy looked up; he was much aware to the novelty of attention in that quarter as Elizabeht herself could be and unconsioucly closed his book. But, when he did, instanlty realized his action and started to realize as well that he was paying too much attention to her. She attracted him more than he liked. But, as a proud creatute, he could not admit such a thing to himself, it was not even allowed to think in that way. Settling himself on that thought, he based his attraction on the pity, he felt for her.

After one second, Georinana invited Colonel to join them. Immediately, with the most brightest smile, he agreed. He offered his arm to Elizabeth and she accepted it, smiling warmly to him. as they walked, the colonel started telling them stories of his regiment, causing the two ladies to laugh Loudly.

"He is the greatest company, he is not Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth smiled kindly and replied "He is indeed"

Darcy, who was still seated on the couch alone, observing the small party, could feel the annoyance boil in his blood. Trying not to make it obvious, he deliberately drop his book down as though it slipped from his hand. Eveyone stopped pacing and turned to look at him and Georgiana spoke again "We should not paying attention to Fitzwilliam. He is simply mad that we keep ignoring him"

When he finally sat comfortably again, he replied "When exactly, dear sister, you decided that you are against your brother?"

"I am not, but I do know that you do like to be ignored"

But Darcy made no comment at all; he was displeased indeed. He was displesed, but not for their indifference towards him, he was displeased that Elizabeth acted indiferently and most of all that she was amused by his cousin's company. It was a real torture to him, seeing her elegant form, which was so tempting to him, walking gently and laughingwith someone else, not paying the slightest attention to him. Indeed, he would have more pleasant feeling if he was in hell. But, he was not and this circumstance was worse than hell itself.

Elizabeth smiled to him and his eyes widen, as he realized how enchanted she could become "I think that it is wiser to sit down and not neglect him any longer."

They all agrred and he finally permited himself to breathe.

But,Georgiana who could not tolerate such boredom, sat on the pianoforte. Engaging the colonel to sit next to her and turn the pages for her, without any hesitation, he happily agreed, because not only did he enjoy her playing and music tastes as well, but because he did not want -or could deny her anything. While they were thus employed Elizabeth could not help observing as she turned over some music books thay lay on the instrument, how frequently Mr Darcy's eyes were fixed on her. She hardly knew how to suppose that she could be an object of interest to so great a man; and yet that he should look at her beause he dislike her, was stiill more strange. She could only imagine howerever at last, that she drew his notice bacause there was somehting about her more wrong and reprehensibe, according to his ideas of right, than any other person present. Maybe he dislike to her was so powerful that he would possibly regret the desicion to permit her to stay with them and that he wanted her gone. But, she had learned her lesson; she had promised herself that she was not going to judge anyone, if she was not completely sure.

When Eizabeth turned for the last time to look at him, he found him looking intensively at her and without knowing what to do, she simply smiled. But instead he did not do anything after two short songs, Georgina vailed the charm by a lively Scotch air; and soon afterwards Mr Darcy drawing near Elizabeth said to her "Do you not feel a great inclination Miss Bennet to seize the opportunity of dancing a reel?"

"Would you despise my taste if I would say that I do?"

"No believe me, my intentions are completely pure."

"Then yes, I would love to dance a reel."

Darcy took her hand in his and led her to the centre of the room, they looked each other for a second and they immediately stared dancing. After a minute of complete silence between them Elizabeth took the courage to speak first. "Believe me, we must have a conversation Mr Darcy, a little will supply"

"You talk as a rule while you are dancing?"

"Sometimes I think it is best"

It took him one second to reply and when he did, he responsed with calmness "Do not you think it is about time to drop away the formality?"

Elizabeth felt his gaze upon her, but she did not have the strength to comfirm her belief. "I am not yet confident to adress you by your christan name, if is what you are suggesting, but I suppose that cousin would fit in this case perfectly" she paused and took a deep breathe "I do not mind though if you wish to call me Elizabeth."

Darcy smiled; it was the first time that she saw his real smile, his kind of smile of pure pleasure. Darcy, who saw instantly her blush, smiled a little more. He could not believe in his ears that now he was able to address her by her lovely name that he was so eager to use it. "What is your opinion for the book you are currently reading?"

"Oh no- not books. I am sure that we never read the same or nor with the same feeling"

"I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions."

"Yes you are right, but this time is not suitable for doing so." she replied coldly d after a second of silence, she spoke again "I remember once saying, cousin, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unpleasantble. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to being created,"

"I am" said he, with a firm voice.

"And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"

"I hope not."

"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first"

"May I ask to what these questions tend?"

She smiled a little; "To the illustration of your character, of course. I am trying to make it out"

A frown was created immediately as he heard her words. But, he could not feel more blessed; because Elizabeth wanted to know him better, which meant that she was not indifferent at all. But, on the other hand, such statement did not imply that she was interested in him, the way Darcy hoped she would be. Judging from a woman's sayings, it is impossible for a man to truly understand what they meant, what they implied or what their little wicked mind was thinking.

"Have you succeed?"

"No, I do not. I dare say, you are one of the persons that cannot be easily read."

"I would say the same for you- we both try to hide our expressions and deep feelings and we only talk when we have something to say that would amaze the whole room, is that not true?"

She laughed "You amaze me."

"Why?" he asked immediately.

"Because I had not seen such a resemblance in our characters, but since you have mention it, I can frankly say that you are not mistaken."

"I am glad that I could comprehend at least one part of your character."

"I only hope that you find it agreeable."

He only smiled. "Yes, most agreeable" Elizabeth's heart beat faster and to her amazement she did not know why, well not exactly, but she could not believe that such thing could happen. She blushed again, but without wanting him to see it, she turned her face away. "It is not a crime to blush" he spoke again and Elizabeth turned her face to look at him "Especially when it suits you perfectly"

"Thank you" she paused "I never believed that you were able to express a compliment in such an unstudy manner"

"Believe me; I did not deliberately want to make you feel better. I believe in everything I say and I do not pursue to praise someone, when I do not think that he does not derserve it" he paused "So, when I said that blushing suits you, I meant it"

Her eyes met his and they did not speak for a moment as they tried to understand each other more, but when the song ended, he led her back to the couch.

"You dance lovely Elizabeth, does she not Colonel?" She paused "We were admiring you; we were saying what an excellent partner you are and how well you suited with my brother."

"Yes, indeed" the colonel spoke, smiling at her "I do regret that I missed the opportunity of dancing with you."

Elizabeth, who tried not to blush, she replied "Are you familiar with waltz?"

"Yes I am, me and Darcy had gone to France a year ago and got familiar with this kind of dance"

"Perhaps.." she said paused, for she was too embarrassed "I would love to teach me, If you of course want to"

Darcy's eyes widen, for he could not believe his eyes. Did just Elizabeth asked for colonel to teach her how to waltz? But that was totally inappropriate; his cousin, so close to her, touching her small waist. No, he could not allow such a thing and if he could, then he should be the one who would teach her how to waltz. He should be the one, who would have his hand touching her waist, smelling her perfume and having the pleasure of admiring her features. He was dying to do exprerience all that, he would give anything to have a little taste of that. And that was the moment, when he realized that he should welcome himself to the wonderful world of jealousy.

For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority are no preconditions for jealousy. You don't have to be right, you don't have to be reasonable. Take Othello. He was neither right nor reasonable, and Desdemona ended up dead. He who is jealous, is never jealous of what he see, with what is imagined is enough. And Darcy imagined terrible things that could happen while they had that opportunity of enjoying each other, while they were dancing. Maybe, his cousin could trip and fall on Elizabeth; accidentally touching his lips with hers, or that he would like her company extensively. Or even worse, Elizabeth could fall in love with him, if she was not already. In that particular thought, Darcy felt his annoyance and the green feeling of jealousy overwhelming him. He could not breathe anymore. He did not know why he could not stand these kind of thoughts, or the simple fact that they were simply dancing, but he could not tolerate it, he simply could not. He could not call such feelings as jealousy or envy, instead he prefered to pick a name with care, so he settled on the word "display". Yes, indeed, that word was perfect. For him, such semtiments were a display of how much he cared about her and wanted to see her happy, alone, and imprisoned in the castle of his heart.

"With pleasure" the colonel replied and Elizabeth smiled.

* * *

I just realized that my chapters are getting bigger, are they not? I really do like this chapter, for I wanted to make a conversation between them so they can come closer. And without exprecting it, the reason of awakening his soul to see Elizabeth was found.

Thank you to those lovely people, who followed my story and keep showing their interest in it. You see, I want to know what do you think about every chapter, if you liked it or not and if it is good. So, I hope that you are satisfied with this one. Do not forget to review.


	6. Paralyzed

**Chapter 6: Paralyzed**

_"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." - Maya Angelou_

Mr. Bennet's estate was entailed to male heirs, and unfortunately he did not set it aside from his income, which meant that Elizabeth would not inherit from it. But, because there was not an heir, the house would be put in auction as the attorney of her father had informed her the day when they passed away. Yes, indeed, that was the day when she realized that besides their death, she had to face the cruelty of the world alone, with no inheritance at all.

Mr. Kidney, the attorney who was always so kind to her, had only one thing to suggest, to become totally dependent on someone else, and in this case, to the Darcy family, their "closest" relation. She really had no choice, it was that or complete poverty, but in both cases with no dowry at all. If she would pick the second, she would probably be forced to work as a governess or in the worst-case scenario, as a maid. She would be forced to drop every dream she ever had and every chance of being happy in the future. So, taking his advice, Elizabeth wrote a letter to her estranged cousin, asking him to stay with him.

She did not want to remember such things, especially that part of her past, which she tried to forget. They were painful memories, and somehow they always seemed to survive, no matter how hard she tried to bury them. She was laying on bed, when the face of her father caused her to remember all these dreadful memories.

It was the first time of her life, that particular moment - as she remembered all these- when she realized why her mother wanted her to get married. Then, the words of Georgiana came to her mind, when she confessed her that Darcy had insisted upon her staying. 'Could he truly be so kind and generous? He must be!'

Elizabeth felt ashamed of her bad thoughts about him, all those dreadful assumptions she had created. "How despicably I have acted," she cried "I, who have prided myself on my discernment. I, who have valued myself on my abilities! I, who have often disdained the generous candor of myself and gratified my vanity in useless or blamable mistrust! How humiliating this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I have been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But, vanity and not love had been my folly. Till this moment I never knew myself"

* * *

Elizabeth Bennet was lovely, clever and she conversed brilliantly. She was witty, she possessed a sharp tongue and her spontaneous honesty was admired. She was a woman with sense and sensibility and she certainly exerted a magnetic pull on everyone -or at least on me.' Yes, these were the thoughts of Darcy's as he lay on bed, trying to sleep. But, every time he closed his eyes, one of her virtues popped out of his head, causing him to awaken. How could such a creature torture him so excessively?The evening was an utter disaster. Maybe not all the night, but at least half of it. He never believed that a woman could cause him such distress, making him unable to breathe. He never, not once in his life had felt such agony.

But, that sentiment was not the only one, which overwhelmed him. Jealousy was. He was not envious of anyone; because he already had what he desired and if he did not, he could easily get it. He was not jealous of his cousin, he was jealous of the advantage he had with her. Elizabeth would be in his arms, he would be able to touch her waist, smell her perfume and have her body almost touching his. But, despite that, Darcy felt blessed for he had made a progress with her. She allowed him to call her by her Christian name and she seemed to have such a positive attitude towards him; as though she cared for him. 'But why do I even care?' he asked himself and as soon as he realized it, he opened his mouth from the amazement.

* * *

The next morning, Elizabeth was late for breakfast, but assuming that Georgiana was still asleep, she paced slowly towards the dinning room. But before she decided to enter, she heard some voices from the inside. It was the colonel with his cousin, talking. Elizabeth was about to knock, warning them that she would enter, but she froze as she heard her name. Instead of doing what she had decided, she stood there.

"What do you think? She is really handsome, is she not?" the colonel asked.

"She is tolerable, I suppose. Not handsome enough to tempt me," Darcy replied with his usual indifference. But he lied, of course he lied. After all, what he was supposed to say? "Do not tell me that you are taken with her?"

"What if I am?"

Darcy laughed. "Do be serious, Richard. She is a woman of no consequence; no connections and she has no dowry that could tempt anyone. She does not fit in the description of an accomplished lady. What happened to your better judgment?" As he finished his speech, his heart stopped. Did he really say those things? Yes, indeed he did. He was sorry for mentioning such cruel things, but none of them was a lie. Darcy did not lie.

It took the colonel one minute to respond, but it did not matter really, because Elizabeth could hardly breathe. She walked away from the door and stood in the middle of the hall; not sure where to go. She could not even think. And without knowing where to go, she decided to take a walk. A long one.

* * *

As Elizabeth stepped into the house, she found the whole party in front of her. She froze as she saw them looking at her strangely. She looked down on herself, just to see that her gown was covering her body in an improper manner. She was soaking wet and as she was about to speak, she coughed instead.

"Are you alright?" the colonel grabbed her by the shoulders as she stood there, dripping.

"Yes," she simply replied, offering him a weak smile.

"Let us…" He left his sentence unfinished as he quickly took his coat off and placed it on her shoulders.

"Dearest Elizabeth, I was so worried," Georgiana said and touched her hands. Elizabeth smiled to her with lips that were purple from cold and she felt her hands trembling.

"Darcy, send for the doctor immediately!" The colonel demanded as he tightened his coat around her. "She is freezing!" But, Darcy did not move an inch, for he could not feel his legs.

"You are such a gentleman, Colonel. What shall we do, once you are gone?" Elizabeth said as she looked at Darcy coldly. He froze. "I am perfectly fine. You should not distress the doctor for me, Mr. Darcy." His heart stopped as his heard his full name, as he realized that she had preferred to call him in that formal manner. But, she had promised to leave formality behind, but obviously she could not. Was she mad that he seemed not to care for her, at all?

Georgiana led Elizabeth upstairs and helped her get cozy and warm. She explained to her that she had lost the track of time, claiming that she wanted to admire the countryside, that it's beauty overwhelmed her, so she forgot to return home soon. And when, she intended, it started to pour and she was forced to wait under a tree, until it was over. Immediately, the ladies heard a knock and the gentlemen stepped in.

Darcy sat on the couch, without saying anything and the colonel approached her, taking her hand in his. Darcy could barely feel his heart beating, for he was too worried and embarrassed and as he saw his cousin's hand touching hers, he felt that sentiment again, which troubled him the previous night. The colonel asked for her health again and she kindly responded that he did not need to worry. After couple of minutes, Georgiana excused herself, claiming that she would be back soon, bringing Elizabeth a warm nightgown, which could keep her warm. The colonel as well left, saying that he had to inform the cook, to prepare Elizabeth a meal. She was now alone with him.

Elizabeth looked at him intensively, waiting for him to say something. "We were worried."

"I had lost the track of time and then..." She paused to think, "it started to rain."

"I hope of your speedy recovery," he spoke, trying to lighten her spirits.

She laughed, "Yes, your cousin will make sure of that. He seems so caring" she paused "and Georgiana as well."

No, she did not referred to him. He heard it well. He only said it about his sister and his cousin, but she was unjust. He did care for her; deeply. She indeed, was angry at him. A frown created on his forehead as he let his jealousy thoughts run through his mind as he imagined his cousin with her waltzing. "Stop flirting with him, Elizabeth!" He was hurt.

She froze. It was the first time he had said her name and it sounded heavenly. She could not take her eyes off him, but as soon as she realized what he was implying, an angry expression was created on her face. "Flirting?"

"Yes, indeed. That is what you are doing since the time he arrived."

She could not believe her eyes. She opened her eyes just to respond, but she closed them immediately. She did not want to say something that could hurt him, but she could not simply act as though she was not offended, because she was.

"Oh I see..." she replied angrily, almost yelling "Besides tolerable, unaccomplished and inferior" she paused "I am now a wanton, am I not?"

His eyes widened, as he realized his foolishness. "I..." he tried to speak, but he could not. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but he closed it as soon as he opened it. He looked down on the floor, not able to face her.

"I think you should leave."

He obeyed.

* * *

Someone wanted to know what Elizabeth's inheritance was and after a little research I made about dowry and stuff, I portrayed her condition. I am sorry I had not given you a clear image of her status in society. I hope that things are clearer now. In this chapter, I wanted to pay my attention to the plot and not so much on their expressions and feelings, though I did make a little effort in the beginning. But their sentiments about the last scene would be expressed on the next chapter. Be patient!

Well, I have some other news to tell you. No more mistakes! I found a beta and she is the loveliest of all. I want to thank her for helping me, you are amazing! I hope that you can read my story and not get distracted from my mistakes.

Do not forget to review!


	7. The world forgetting by the world forgot

** Chapter 7: The world forgetting, by the world forgot.**

_"Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness." - George Sand_

Sorry means a lot of things. It's a hole refilled. A debt repaid. Sorry is the wake of misdeed. It's the crippling ripple of consequence. Sorry is sadness, just as knowing is sadness. Sorry is sometimes self-pity. Sorry is a question that begs forgiveness, because the metronome of a good heart won't settle until things are set right and true. Sorry doesn't take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It's an offering. A gift. But sorry, really, was not about him. It was hers to take or leave.

Darcy had never felt, not once in his life, the urge to apologize. He had been extremely cruel with her and she did not deserve it, when she was all kindness towards him and his sister. He should not have said such things, not that they were untrue, but he should not have judged upon her condition, not only because it was something that she had not chosen for, but also because you only judge a person by his character. He remembered then her expression, as she told him to leave, she was hurt. She had every reason to be. He knew deep inside him, he knew very well that apologies were lovely when they happened. But they did change nothing. They did not reverse actions or correct damage. They were merely nice to hear. He believed he knew her, for she may forgive him; but never forget. He needed her; she had become essential since the day she arrived. She had brought a fresh air and light in his life. Because, Darcy woke up every morning smiling for the thought only that he was going to see her; he laid on bed and her face was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes. He knew it was his fault and this time he knew very well why he had let the dark part of himself out. Maybe he was still jealous or maybe he wanted to prevent his cousin to form a serious attachment; for he wanted her all by himself. He wanted her to be his and only his, but it seemed that he ruined everything. Fortunately, he was aware of what he should do. Show her generosity.

* * *

The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which everyone should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either -or both when needed? Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat. When you forgive someone you certainly release him from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But, they finally confess and suddenly, you discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation. But there are disadvantages about forgiving. You see, you may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the day after that, but each day will be less, until one day you will realize that you have been completely forgiven. And then, suddenly one day you will pray for his wholeness.

Elizabeth was alone in her chamber with a book on hand, trying to read, but she could not. She had read the same sentence at least fifteen times and she kept doing so, until she realized how foolish she was behaving. She should not act indifferently, for she was not. She understood his reasons, for he wanted to protect his cousin, he wanted the best for him and he would probably make sure he was going to get it. But, she never believed that he was thinking in this way about her, not so deep as she thought he did. She wanted to forgive him - she even could, but she was not sure that his words had not left a scar. She could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified hers. Because, forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim- letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.

* * *

The next morning, Elizabeth was in the dinning room finishing her breakfast, when she heard footsteps. Afterwards, the door opened and when she looked up, she saw none but Mr. Darcy. He stopped walking for one second, as he realized that she was there, but soon enough, he sat down. He could feel her gaze upon him; and not tolerating such awkwardness anymore, he decided to speak first. After all, he was the one, who was supposed to do that.

"All you alright?" He asked her and looked up; his eyes met hers.

"Yes, I am"

Darcy opened his mouth to reply, but he chose to close it immediately. They kept staring at each other, without talking. "I am leaving in few hours" he paused "The colonel as well."

"Do you intend to stay in London?" her tone was cold and stiff, as though she had copied Darcy's manner, or to be more exact, the manner he had when he first met her. When he was enchanted by her, but his vanity did not let him admit it, because now Darcy had changed. At least, he could see it.

"Yes, but I have some other business around the country"

Elizabeth took another sip of her tea and kept her look down. "Good"

'That is enough Darcy. Stop behaving like a child,' he thought. He drew his chair near her, they were now few inches apart. She looked at him. "I owe you an apology." He paused "You should know that I am sincerely sorry for the awful things I said"

Elizabeth laughed ironically "You should not be sorry for expressing yourself, Mr. Darcy. One must never be sorry for stating his opinion, if he believes it"

"But I do not" his voice sounded higher and louder than he intended. His answer was immediate and expressed in full honesty. But, assuming from her expression, she did not believe him "Perhaps I did believe it, when I first met you. But since then, I have come to think of you one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance."

She laughed and again and shook her head in disbelief "It was not my beauty, which was not praised that hurt me."

"Yes, I know" he replied and cursed himself for not saying the proper thing. He had prepared a speech in his mind, of what he was going to say, but it seemed that his mind could not work at all at this moment. She was the reason of that, because his heart was beating so fast that he could hear it, like if someone was playing drums right next to his ear. "I did not believe any word that I said. It was my vanity, which made me behave thus. Yes, vanity indeed, because it is a weakness that exists in every heart." He took some deep breaths, before he spoke again "There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."

"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."

"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is to willfully misunderstand them. A man's vanity is more fragile than you might think. It is easy for women to mistake shyness for coldness, and silence for indifference"

"It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of a man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire. A woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. Neatness and fashion are enough for the former, and something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter."

Impropriety indeed was a powerful feeling. He would love to see her improper manner; he might even fall in love with her more than he already was. First, it would go slowly, but then all at once. "All the privilege I claim for my own sex -it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it, is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone!"

"I most heartily disagree." she almost yelled "Most men do not know how to love and the few, who do, proved to be disloyal, even though they first claimed a strong devotion."

"A man does not recover from such devotion of the heart to his one and only woman! He ought not; he does not." He took some deep breaths as though he could not breath. He looked exhausted, vulnerable.

"Oh!" cried Elizabeth eagerly; "I hope I do justice to all that is felt by you, and by those who resemble you. God forbid that I should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow-creatures! I should deserve utter contempt if I dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were only known by woman. No, I believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion, and to domestic forbearance, so long as- if I may be allowed the expression, so long as you have an object. I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you."

They were within twenty yards of each other, and so abrupt was his appearance, that it was impossible to avoid his sight. Their eyes instantly met, and the cheeks of each were overspread with the deepest blush. There could have never been two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was a perpetual estrangement. He absolutely startled, and for a moment seemed immoveable from surprise; but shortly recovering himself, he said "Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant."

She looked at him with surprise. What he was implying? She was not mistaken, surely she could not be. He was speaking of his love, revealing himself, make known to her that when he loved, he loved deeply. "You seem to have an affectionate heart," she paused as she realized "You must love somebody."

'Indeed I do,' he thought; 'you, I only ache for you.' He froze for one second; he was too ashamed to answer. "Do you think that my heart has no warmth? I am sorry if you think so, but I must tell you that appearances can be deceptive. Indeed, I am a man of flesh and bones and my heart beats in the same rhythm as anyone else. My heart, I must inform you, is capable of possessing feelings so strongly as yours."

She certainly did not hate him. No; hatred had vanished long ago, and she had almost as long been ashamed of ever feeling dislike against him, that could be so called. The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities, though at first unwillingly admitted, had for some time ceased to be repugnant to her feelings; and it was now heightened into somewhat of a friendlier nature. Did she had already forgive him? Elizabeth had never been more at a loss to clarify her feelings. It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried. So, she did.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked surprised.

"If I say that I am willing to forgive you, that I am capable to forget all those things you said" she paused, just to breathe "Will you promise me that I am not going to regret it?"

He nodded.

"Because you see, I do not want my good opinion of you to get lost, for once lost is lost forever" she teased and Darcy smiled a little "like my cousin, once said."

* * *

I think this is my favourite chapter and I must say that I was a little inspired by Persuasion - the captain is beyond perfection, almost flawless as Darcy. Haha I saw the series yesterday and I thought it would suit in my story. I hope that you like it to. Special thanks to my lovely beta, who is so amazing and so helpful!

Do not forget to review, dear readers. Make my day brighter.


	8. A hole in the world

**Chapter 8: A hole in the world**

_"The only obsession everyone wants: 'love.' People think that when falling in love they make themselves whole? The Platonic union of souls? I think otherwise. I think you're whole before you begin. And the love fractures you. You're whole, and then you're cracked open. " -Philip Roth_

"Tell me again why we had to leave," the colonel demanded. He seemed frustrated and angry, truth be told, and Darcy had never seen him like that, not once. Not even when they were arguing. The colonel, you see, was one of those people, who remained calm and steady no matter the consequences.

Darcy took a deep breath before he responded "I told you already that I have some business to take care of"

"Why do you need me Darcy, if you are not willing to tell me what is this all about?"

He breathed heavily. Because he was so selfish and afraid that if he left alone, leaving the colonel behind, something might happen. Something between him and Elizabeth. He, of course could not allow such a thing. They seemed to fancy each other and he was not yet sure if their acquaintance was friendly. It was possible for her to fall in love with his cousin; something he could not tolerate. Instead of confessing those things to him, he only said, "Swear me that you will not tell a soul." The colonel nodded. "I intend to buy Longbourn"

Colonel Fitzwilliam opened his mouth. He did not know what to think of him anymore. He did not even know what to say. What did he care about that estate in Hertfordshire? Surely it must be a reason, wishing that it would be something that he would like. "Why?"

"Because she has nothing that could tempt anyone to marry her. She has no future, can you not see?" It was not true, of course. The truth was that he wanted to give it to her, to have something of her own. All he desired was to protect and cherish her; since he could not do that for now, all he could do was to make her feel secure. But that was half the reason of doing this. He knew how alone she was feeling; he still remembered her tears on the library. Having Longbourn in her possession, it would ease her pain; for he did not want to see her hurt anymore.

"You want her gone Darce, don't you?" the colonel asked and shook his head in disapproval. "What on earth has she done to make you dislike her so?" 'If only he knew,' Darcy thought. "You really do not need to secure her financially. The man who is going to marry her will love her because of what she is. This is the way its supposed to be and that is how it shall happen."

"Has your admiration for her lessened?" he suddenly asked. He looked to his cousin on the eyes, waiting for his answer. His life depended upon his hands now.

"Not yet" he paused "I confess that I do feel something for her, more strong than I ever thought I was able to feel for a woman, but..." Darcy's eyes widened. Did he just confess his love for her? Was it even possible to love the same woman? Could it be possible to feel the same? No, it was not - at least for the latter. Darcy knew himself and he knew very well that his love could never be equal in depth to his cousin, because when he loved, he loved with his whole being. If he loved with all the powers of his puny being, he could not love as much in eighty years as I could in a day, Darcy thought. He could hardly breathe anymore, it was too much for him to handle, but before he could stop his cousin, Richard continued, "I thought of our conversation, yesterday. The problem is me, you see. I have already fallen in love with her, aware of her condition, but I and I alone have nothing. I could not be able to give her what she deserves" he paused "She is not going to be happy with me, Fitzwilliam, and she is the kind of woman who deserves to be cherished and loved deeply."

As his cousin was speaking, Darcy confessed to himself once again that he was indeed in love with her. He had no doubt about it anymore. He was not able to deny himself the simple pleasure of saying true things. He knew well that love was just a shout into a void and that oblivion is inevitable, that he was doomed and that there was going to come a day when his body would turn into dust, but God was his judge, he would still be in love with her, until the sun would shallow the only earth he had ever seen, until the last day of his existence. He loved her more than he believed, because their combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together. He had not intended to love her, but the games of love spontaneously revived, great and strong. She made him love her without even looking at him!

"You must decide," he paused "soon."

"Good God Darcy, don't you have a heart?" Richard asked and Darcy smiled ironically. He had a heart, he was just waiting to know if it was going to hop again or be crashed.

"I do sympathize with you. But until then, do not give her false hopes. Women have the tendency to exaggerate. Be certain that she will not do the same."

"She is not the kind of woman, who is slighted by any man"

"I want to help you Richard," he lied. No, he did not want to. He was selfish and he wanted Elizabeth for himself and himself alone.

"Will you tell her that you bought it?"

"No!" Darcy almost yelled. He was going to give it to her as a wedding present, whenever they would marry, If they would...

"How long do we intend to be away?"

"After Hertfordshire, we will go to London; I have promised Charles that I would visit him soon."

Richard laughed. "Caroline must be thrilled."

Darcy laughed with him. "Oh stop it. It is rather ungentlemanly to mock a woman thus."

"You are right, but you must know how I love to laugh at her every attempt of becoming the mistress of Pemberley. I wonder, though, why she has not succeeded yet. She seems the kind of woman, who would happily follow you in everything you shall do."

No, he wanted someone, who could match him in his own game. Someone like Elizabeth. "For heaven's sake, no. Caroline Bingley as my wife" he laughed ironically "Tell me Richard, do you hate me so?"

They both laughed.

The purpose of this trip was beyond from what his cousin could imagine. Yes, the plans were indeed his purpose of buying the estate, but the main reason was to leave Pemberley; for a while at least. He wanted to testify if he could stop thinking about her and if he had any chance of being saved. But he really doubted that he could; of course he could not. What a fool man he was, for once you fall in love is impossible to untie the strings that bound you to the other person. They were seated silently on the carriage, looking outside the window, but neither of them needed to talk; they had their thoughts for company. The odd thing was that they had the same thoughts-well, not exactly the same, but very similar, they were thinking of Elizabeth and how much they think they loved her. It is tragic, is it not? Two men thinking of the same woman, when that woman has been kept in oblivion. Darcy looked at his cousin's expression for the last time and he seemed miserable and sad. He had lost every sparkle he had before; he looked like a half man. He was, in reality, they both were. How could handle the situation? He surely did not want to hurt his cousin, he loved him like a brother, but on the other hand, he loved her more. How could he make her love him; more importantly how could he make her love him instead of his cousin?

That was the exact moment his heart threaded with hers. It was as if someone reached down with a sewing needle and stitched his soul to hers. How could one man be so sharp and so vulnerable at the same time? Whatever would happen to her would happen to him. Whatever pain she would feel, he would feel it too. He wanted it — that was the surprising part. Selfish Fitzwilliam Darcy loved a woman so much, he could already feel himself changing to accommodate her needs. He fell. Hard. For the rest of his life and probably the next. He wanted her -every last inch of his stubborn and combative heart demanded her.

* * *

_ Three weeks later..._

Darcy was seated in the drawing room with the rest of the gentlemen, Mr. Bingley, his close friend, Richard and Mr. Hurst, husband of the older Bingley daughter. They were drinking branch and playing cards, as they waited for the ladies to change for dinner. The Bingley family was a very respectable one with many connections. It was common for them to be invited for dinner and balls almost every day. Darcy had attended one ball and ten dinners in all this period he stayed with them. He absolutely hated the large gatherings, but this time he had promised himself that he would attend each one of them. You see, he intended to stop thinking of her and such gatherings offered the most convenient opportunity. He hoped to see a lady, who would attract him, but in vain. In every single lady he met, he instantly and unconsciously compared her to Elizabeth. He could see their similarities and differences, but most of the cases ended up with Elizabeth being far more superior than them. He even caught himself looking for her everywhere he went, like he knew she would attend, but as soon as he realized his ridicule, he tried to pay attention to anything that would distract him. But, truth to be told, he did not think of her as much as he did before. Although he had the most improper dreams, he kept seeing her in her nightgown, the same nightgown she wore on the library, when she looked divine. But, hopefully Bingley's talkativeness and the silliness of Miss Bingley kept him well occupied. He knew very well, that when he returned home and saw her again, he would fall for her again all at once. So too much effort, for nothing really. 'It is a hopeless case, is it not?' he remembered her saying with her lovely voice. It was indeed!

But, as the ladies came in, a footman entered as well, giving Darcy a letter. It was from his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Darcy took a deep breath and opened the letter.

_Dear nephew,_

_I hope to find you well suited in Bingley's estate. I visited Pemberley hoping to find you there, but in my great disappointment I did not. Georgiana informed me of your trip and since there is an urgent matter, which I want to discuss with you, I took the liberty of sending the letter there. I deliberately ignore mentioning Miss Bennet, which I met during my stay at your home. You know how opposite I am to that decision of yours, taking her under your protection._

_You are well aware of what I want to discuss with you. If you have not taken care of our agreement yet, then there is a need for me to remind you of your obligation. If you have not settled it until the Christmas ball, I am afraid to tell you that I am not willing to give you another chance. You have three months._

_That is all,_

_L. Catherine de Bourgh_

Lady Catherine de Bourgh was the only living woman in the family because Darcy's and Colonel's mother had passed away. She was noble, like her sister Lady Anne -Darcy's mother- and a widow. She was married to an earl but unfortunately they were childless. Most of the summers, Georgiana used to spend her time in her estate, Rosings Park, keeping her company; that is why she treated her like she was her own child. But, since Georgiana had grown enough and could not tolerate her aunt's weirdness, she rarely paid her a visit. She had her brother and cousin to amuse her, what else did she need?

"Who is it from, Darcy?" Richard asked him as he saw his distress. For one second, he thought of Georgiana and Elizabeth, worrying if it was from them.

"My aunt." he simply replied. "She writes to remind me of our agreement."

"Hasn't she quit the idea yet?" Bingley interrupted.

"No, apparently she has not." he paused to take a deep breath "Until Christmas."

"Poor Darcy" Bingley spoke again and touched him on his back, showing his sympathy. The colonel did the same. "I do not even understand why you agreed in the first place."

Darcy took a deep breath "We spoke in moments of my weakness, I was persuaded that I did not had another choice. It was either that or complete destruction."

"Unlikely that would be. You must be a fool, believing that everything would be ruined!" cried Bingley. "What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?"

"Grandeur has but little," said he, "but wealth has much to do with it."

"For shame!" said Bingley, "money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. Beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction, as far as mere self is concerned."

"Perhaps," replied Darcy, smiling, "Your competence and my wealth are very much alike, I dare say; and without them, as the world goes now, we shall both agree that every kind of external comfort must be wanting. Your ideas are only nobler than mine. But how can you take in your hands the life of another?"

"I understand your worries and I do sympathize with you, but Darcy are you really certain about this?"

"I do not think that I have another option, I have given my word and I shall not break it. It is not something that a gentleman would do."

"I hope you find whatever you are looking for soon," Bingley smiled, trying to lighten the situation.

"He will," Richard laughed and looked at Caroline Bingley, smiling ironically.

* * *

_ The next afternoon..._

Darcy was standing in the corner of the room, in Wenstictor Manor. Mr. and Mrs. Kenstinton, who were close acquainted with the Bingleys had invited them and their guests to the annual ball, which was hosted by them. Darcy had not danced yet, for he did not care at all. He was so frustrated and it was impossible for him to stop worrying about his dealings with his aunt. He cursed himself that moment, for allowing her to have an advantage on him. He could see the colonel and Bingley occupying two young ladies and after couple of minutes, he saw their party coming towards him. The gentlemen introduced the young ladies, who were on their arms. They were Miss Gardiner and the other was the colonel's cousin, who was already known to Darcy. They looked very agreeable and handsome; but nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe perhaps Miss Gardiner, who had golden hair and nice features, could be called a beauty. He noticed Miss Brown; how well she had grown. But, Darcy could not still find a young lady, who could tempt him, and they all had common ideas and interests. He wanted someone, who could excite him, like Elizabeth had done even from their first encounter.

"Don't you agree Darcy?" Richard asked interrupting him. But, Darcy who had not paid the least attention to their conversation, he simply nodded.

"Will you stay long, Miss Gardiner?" asked Bingley and all their eyes where upon the young lady, waiting for her answer.

"I do not believe so, we are here with my family for the ball. Mr. and Mrs. Kensinton are my aunt and uncle, you see."

"Pray tell me, where are you from?" Darcy asked as though he was interested, but he was not really. He simply wanted to stop overthinking.

"Hertfordshire." Jane Gardiner simply replied.

Darcy's eyes widened, for he realized that he was not going to be saved; for he thought immediately of Elizabeth. But, when he was about to ask if she was acquainted with her, Miss Bingley appeared, taking Miss Gardiner away. Bingley followed them as well; for he was already enchanted by her -it was obvious. Darcy looked at Richard and his cousin, Penelope, but to be more exact on the young lady herself. He knew her from his very young age, when they were playing hide and seek in Pemberley and afterwards when they were too old for that, he remembered pleasant evenings with her, Georgiana and Richard on the drawing room laughing. This was the first time he had seen her after a very long time, since he left for Cambridge to study. She had grown to a very agreeable young lady, who conversed with ease and seemed very well educated.

"Did you had a good time in Pemberley?" she asked the colonel and touched his hands.

"Yes, indeed I had." Richard paused "Georgiana sends her regards"

"I long to see her. I've not seen her for months and I dare say I have missed her pleasant company. Is she well, Mr. Darcy?" the young lady asked. Mr. Darcy's eyes were fixed now on her and smiled.

"She is very well indeed. Perhaps, you can delight us with your company in Pemberley. You are very welcome to join us for the trip back home." he paused "She will be very excited to see you again."

"If my parents have no objection, then it would my pleasure." She smiled at him "It seems odd that she decided to stay in Derbyshire, is it not?"

"Ohh it is not," Richard immediately replied. "She has the best company," The colonel replied as he smiled upon the thought of her.

"I am very glad, but pray tell me, who?" the young lady asked curiously.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She is a distant cousin of Darcy's, who is under his protection." Darcy laughed ironically. She certainly did not need protection for she was a very strong woman and if she did, she chose the wrong man to protect her, because Darcy wanted to make things with her that could blush any sin.

"I see." Penelope Brown replied, she really did not need to ask anything further for she already knew the story. It had become very known among the ton. "I would be pleased to make her acquaintance."

"I am sure you will. She is the most delightful creature." Richard replied and Darcy smiled with civility.

"Is she indeed?" Richard simply nodded.

Miss Brown looked at Darcy one more time, just to see him staring at her. As their eyes met, she simply smiled and spoke to her cousin again "I am mortified, Richard. You have not asked my hand for a dance, yet. Should I be worried? Am I not your favourite cousin?"

At first, Darcy was surprised by the way they spoke to each other; they seemed to have such passed the formality. She was a fine lady, indeed. She had loveliness in her air and she spoke fluently without hesitation -as other ladies, who wanted to attract the attention of a man. Miss Brown did not fit in that description at all, she was elegant with tolerable features and the teasing way he spoke to the colonel, meant that she had a lively spirit, something very admired by him.

"You are indeed." Richard replied. "Unfortunately, I have promised this set to Miss Esher. But it would be my honour to secure your hand in the next one." She smiled and accepted gladly.

"May I have the pleasure of dancing with you this set?" It was Darcy's voice.

"Yes, it would an honour."

* * *

That night, Darcy could barely close his eyes. Dare he say he missed her? He did. He missed her. He could still see her in his dreams. They were nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such was the strangeness of the human heart. Complicated, but passionate. He missed her every hour. The worst part was that it caught him completely by surprise. He used to catch himself just walking around to find her, not for any reason, just out of habit, because he had seen something that he wanted to tell her about or because he wanted to hear her voice. And then, he usually realized that she was not there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of him. He was getting colder and colder every passing hour, more dead with every breath. He did not know if what he was feeling was normal, but simply he really did not care. There were moments of pure honesty, when he could understand himself, but in this case he could not. He did not know why he loved her, but he did. He loved her more than he could express, more than he thought he did. He loved her without knowing how or when or from where. He loved her as certain pure things should be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

* * *

Wow! I just saw your reviews and follows and I almost screamed. Literally. You have given me so much support and love that I simply do not know how to thank you. Thank you so much with all my heart. It is so amazing to know that I am doing something right and you do approve it. Thank you all Again!

I am sorry if you like Anne, but I do not, so I thought that she did not need to exist - at least in my world. Btw, I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but I had a writing block. I hope that you can forgive me, so I made this chapter so large, the largest chapter I have ever written. (four thousand words). Anyway, I also hope that you enjoyed it and I wish that it did not bore or tire you. I am waiting for your opinions. Review! Did you like it at all?


	9. Broken ice

Chapter 9: Broken ice

_"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." -Jane Austen_

_One month later..._

Darcy stepped out of the carriage after his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam and extended his arm for Miss Brown to take it. Her parents had allowed her to travel with them and stay for a week in Pemberley, just to see Georgiana. She was a pleasant company and to Darcy's amazement, she was developed in an almost accomplished lady, according to his terms. The threesome found the young ladies in front of them just as they entered the big hall of Pemberley. But, before anyone could speak, Georgiana ran to her brother and hugged him tight, saying over and over again how much she missed him.

"I have missed you all, so much," she claimed again and everyone laughed. "Especially you, Penelope." Miss Brown smiled politely and turned her gaze upon Elizabeth, who was standing behind Georgiana.

"Will you not introduce me, Georgiana?"

"Yes, I totally forgot. You must excuse me," she replied and the two ladies smiled with civility to each other.

It was at last Elizabeth's time to speak, for she stood quite some time, unaffected and a little embarrassed. "It is a pleasure to see you all again." She looked at the colonel first, who was now next to her, kissing her hand. She blushed a little and as she tried to recover, her look fell upon Darcy, who was once again staring at her intensively. She smiled at him, with the great smile of her that could make him forget the world.

At that moment it seemed to him that time stood still and the soul of the world surged within him. When he looked into her dark eyes and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that the entire world spoke. The language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their hearts. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled, and that was certainly an omen. The omen he had been waiting for without even knowing he was for all his life. The omen he sought to find in his sheep and in his books. In the crystals and in the silence of the desert. It was the pure language of the world. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life. And that with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it, than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way never learned the universal language. Because when you know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you. Whether its in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love and makes a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.

"Did you have a pleasant trip?" She asked as she kept looking at him. The truth was that in some inexplicable way, she had missed him, very much. So much that she did not even understand why, maybe because she had missed his intensive looks or their diverting conversations. Or maybe she had missed him, all of him.

He nodded, but just as he did the colonel said "The most agreeable one. My cousin is the most enjoyable company, don't you agree Darcy?"

He felt her gaze on him, constantly, but as everyone expected him to speak he replied "Yes, indeed" He looked immediately at Miss Brown, who was smiling at him. Elizabeth felt her heart popping a little bit faster.

"I hope that you did not forget my presents" Georgiana interrupted, speaking with an irritating tone as though she was angry.

"No, I did not. How could you think I could forget?" Darcy spoke and smiled. "But, I intend to give them you at dinner."

"Do you wish to keep me in agony?" she mocked.

"Yes." he teased.

Georgiana, who was in high spirits because of their arrival, simply laughed. She then, took the hand of her friend and led her towards the stairs. Elizabeth, who knew that she would be neglected by her dear cousin, preferred to stay with the company of the gentlemen. Or was that the true reason? They moved to the drawing room and as they sat, Elizabeth decided to speak first.

"Tell me how was London."

Of course, the colonel decided to start his speech, before Darcy could even open his mouth. He talked to her with ease and sometimes she laughed at his funny descriptions of the people they met. He looked at them more with grief rather than jealousy. Yes, he was sad indeed for he did not have the opportunity yet to make a decent conversation with her, when she seemed to seek it. But before he could start overthinking, she turned her look at him and smiled politely.

"Did you take care of your business, Mr. Darcy?"

He smiled at her at least, with a smile wider than ever before. She could actually see his white teeth. "Yes, I did. Thank you for asking. Pray tell me, did you had a good time with my sister?"

"Yes, the most pleasant one." she laughed. "She must love you excessively, for she kept mentioning how much she missed you."

"Did she not say anything about me?" The colonel teased.

"I am sorry to tell you, but she did not" Elizabeth replied seriously, but as she saw the poor colonel's look, she laughed. "I am teasing. Of course, she did". She turned her face and looked at Darcy one more time "I missed your company, as well."

He smiled a little; but nothing that could make Elizabeth extent that subject any further. So she rested, listened to colonel's stories with Darcy looking at her.

* * *

Elizabeth, some hours later, had decided to isolate herself in the library. She had hoped to comprehend herself better, for she was quite oblivious to the sudden change of her behavior. It was true that she had missed Mr. Darcy, but she did not know the true reason yet. She looked on the pages of her book, but without even attempting to read. Her thoughts passed through her mind so quickly like the speed of lightning. And then, his blue eyes appeared as a vision right in front of her, so she closed her eyes immediately. But, when she opened them again, they were still there. She could see Mr. Darcy's face clearly.

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth..." it was a whisper. She blinked sometimes and took deep breaths to come to her senses. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" he asked again. She could feel his hands on her arms, holding her tight "You gave me such a fright. You were standing there, pale and..."

"I am fine," she replied and finally looked at him in the eyes. He smiled.

"I was hoping to find you here..." He paused and took his hands off her, as he realized how improper this was. "You see, I bought you something."

Elizabeth looked at him surprised as she felt her heart beating fast. She could almost forget how to breathe, for his touch had still some effect on her. She smiled weakly at him "I do not understand."

"I thought that you might like this." He replied and gave her a book. "I know how much are you fond of reading and since I brought Georgiana some presents, I thought that I could…" he tried to say, but she saw her disappointed expression. 'How fool can you be?' He thought. "I saw it on the bookstore and I thought of you."

Elizabeth's eyes met his immediately. She smiled at him so widely, so that he could understand that his words had a pleasant affect. "Ohh Mr. Darcy! Thank you so much," she replied and as soon as she finished, she encircled her hands around his neck and hugged him tight.

Darcy froze for one second, but then as he felt her body pressing against his, he finally relaxed and closed his eyes to savor the moment. He took a deep breath to smell the lavender on her and with his right hand; he touched her back, pushing her a little closer to him. They stayed there no more than few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity to both of them. As she took a step back, she looked down on the floor and said quietly "I am so sorry, I should not..."

But, before she could finish and assuming what she would say, Darcy replied. "Do not be sorry, madam." he paused. " Can you not see it?"

Her heart was beating so fast. "What do you mean, sir?"

He smiled a little. "You are a clever woman, surely you can understand."

"I do not."

He took a step closer to her. "I cannot..."

The door opened suddenly, making both of them look at the intruder. For that she was, Georgiana was an intruder, or that is what the two lovers thought. Darcy smirked sadly as he was irritated by his sister, who had the worst timing of the world. He was about to confess his feelings to her, he did not intend to, but he could not do otherwise. As he felt her so close, her body touching his and her beautiful scent overwhelming him, he had instantly knew that she belonged with him. There on his arms. Forever.

* * *

Thanks again to my lovely beta, who is so loyal to me, even though her busy schedule. You are truly a gem.

Did you expect that? Our couple is getting closer and closer. If you please, take a minute to review, it would be most appreciated.


	10. The sharpness of taste

**Chapter 10: The sharpness of taste **

Georgiana grabbed Elizabeth's hand and led her out of the library, excusing themselves and leaving Darcy alone. He took some deep breaths, as though he had run out of air and as unable as he was, he sat on a chair, putting his hand on his face, trying to cover it. He was desperate, vulnerable and confused. He simply did not know what to do, it was the first time he had felt the exhaustion of that kind. Whenever he did, she was there, maybe not present, but always there in his mind, in his heart. But that could not be borne with anymore; he could not spend of his days torturing himself. Ohh how she tormented him...

Elizabeth and her young cousin entered the chamber of the latter. She claimed that she needed her help to pick the right dress. At first, she showed her a light pink gown with some beautiful details on the sleeves and then a blue one, more plain.

"I am certain that the pink would suit you perfectly," Elizabeth claimed and smiled politely. "It is such a beautiful gown, but pray tell me, is there any particular reason you wish to look beautiful tonight?"

Georgiana laughed and grabbed her cousin's hand "Oh no, of course not. I am simply happy that Penelope is here."

"Are you good friends?"

"Yes, indeed we are." she paused "But I rarely get the chance to see her, we mainly write letters to each other."

"Why is that so?" Elizabeth asked curiously.

"She travels a great deal with her parents, because her papa is a diplomat." she paused. "She has seen to so many countries."

"I would love to go to France," Elizabeth explained with a sad expression, of course she knew that this was only a dream. A woman of her station would barely find anyone to hold an affection for her -as Mr. Darcy so honestly explained, so it was out of the question that that kind of dream, would come true. In fact, any of her dreams would not probably come true.

"Yes, from what I have heard, it is quite spectacular."

"How long have you known Penelope?"

Georgiana laughed. "Elizabeth, why do you keep asking so many questions?"

'Because, apparently Darcy holds a high esteem towards her and I want to know the reason,' she thought. "I simply want to know her." she explained and this was not entirely a lie. "She intends to stay for a while and I do not feel comfortable yet, not knowing things."

She smiled. "I am not going to neglect you, if that is what you are afraid of."

"I am glad to know that," she smiled. "So?" She demanded to know.

"Penelope and I, we are close acquaintances from our childhood. You see, she is cousin of Richard's and she used to spend most of her days in Pemberley. We used to play hide and seek when we were little and when we were older enough and my brother did not want to play anymore, as he claimed that he was too old for childish games, we spend our time talking and laughing." She paused and a sad expression was created in her face, "But that was before she decided that she had to pay more attention to breeding, so she left and rarely visited us."

"You speak as though you are hurt by her behavior."

Georgiana smiled a little, "I am" she paused. "I was. You see, for a very long time I thought that she was only being extremely dear to me, because of Fitzwilliam."

Elizabeth touched Georgiana's hand just to comfort her ,"What do you mean, dearest?"

"Fitzwilliam was in love with Penelope from a very young age and when he turned eight and ten years old, they formed an attachment." Elizabeth froze as she felt her heart smashed into little pieces. She could clearly hear her beating, so loudly that she thought for one moment that she had a heart attack. But, Georgiana kept speaking, making Elizabeth paler and paler as she talked. "Months later Fitzwilliam had gone to Cambridge for his studies, but begged Penelope to wait for him. She did for a while, but a year later, she send him a letter telling that she could not bore the distance any longer. So, she broke his heart."

"Did your brother tell you of these?" It was all that she managed to say.

"No, I never spoke of this with him - he never mentioned anything either. But, I could see him, I could see the difference, the impact their detachment had on him. I believe, he was never the same after that and our parents death."

Elizabeth could not say anything, she simply opened her mouth, but she preferred to close it instantly, for she had nothing to say or ask. She could barely breathe. "I am sorry"

"Do not be. She and I have made our peace, and clearly Fitzwilliam made it with himself as well."

Elizabeth tried to smile a little, "Do you think he still has feelings for her?"

"I honestly do not know, for he has never showed any preference to a lady after that. But did you not see the way he looked at her? She also said she retired earlier to get dressed." she paused and formed a wide smile "I would love to have a sister."

She took some deep breaths and without wanting to pain herself more, she just replied, "Let me see your jewelry and decide what is most appropriate for this gown."

Georgiana obeyed and happily she gave her a big box. Elizabeth opened it and sighed with amazement. Everything was perfect; sapphires, emeralds and diamonds were decorated in elegant necklaces and earrings. She had never seen anything more beautiful than this sight, for it was pure beauty -the kind of beauty that could give pleasure to anyone. Elizabeth chose some diamond earrings and claimed that they were the most appropriate for this occasion and then she grabbed a necklace. It was a plain one, but yet elegant decorated with emerald gems all over it. Elizabeth stood up and looked at herself on the mirror and she put it on.

"It is perfect on you," Georgiana said as she observed her. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said and smiled kindly to her, but as she was about to put it back, Georgiana's hand stopped her.

"No, you must have it"

"No, no I can't"

"Yes you can, I would like you to have it." She paused and as she saw Elizabeth's denial, she spoke again "I am not very fond of it"

"Georgiana, you are too kind. I do not deserve it."

"Yes you do, I would not speak to you again if you do not take it."

Elizabeth immediately hugged Georgiana and they both smiled with joy. "I do not know how to thank you."

"You do not have to and now go before we are late." Elizabeth obeyed and as she was about to open the door, she heard her from behind saying "Wear it tonight."

* * *

As the ladies walked down the stairs, the gentlemen felt their hearts hopping faster as they looked upon the bewitching sight. As they kept staring, Richard approached Darcy and whispered to him "Tolerable, huh?" The great Fitzwilliam Darcy got pale. No, she was far more than tolerable. They all looked divine, like nymphs as they were described in Greek mythology. Georgiana was the first one she climbed off the stairs and smiled civily to them.

"I hope that you did not have to wait long," Georgiana said and stood next to her brother.

"I did not know that the dinner would be formal, for I would be dressed more carefully," he paused "You look beautiful, dearest Georgiana."

"Indeed," Darcy simply replied, never taking his eyes off the stairs. It was impossible to do so, after all. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his entire life. Elizabeth was walking behind Miss Brown, keeping her look down, but he could see her blushing. She was wearing a black gown with a green olive ribbon on her waist. It was all lace, almost transparent, but well covered in the right places. The necklace with emeralds suited her perfectly, giving her the kind of beauty she deserved. She was far more beautiful than he thought she was, more handsome than he dreamt her at nights and even more tempting for his own good, he wanted her in his possession. Now.

Miss Brown reached the end of the stairs and waited there until the colonel took her hand and kissed it. She blushed and looked at Darcy, waiting for him to say something. He approached her and complimented her for the lovely light read dress she wore and how beautiful she looked in it -not so beautiful if Elizabeth wore it. Penelope moved a step forward and looked at Darcy "Would you be so kind to escort me to dinner?"

"My pleasure," he simply replied and she took his arm.

Elizabeth finally stopped at the end of the stairs and she smiled warmly at colonel, who was waiting for her. He immediately took her hand and kissed it passionately.

"You look very handsome," he looked at her and smiled "I am certain that I will dream about you tonight. I only hope that you would be so kind as you are in reality."

"You are all politeness and flattery today. Should I be worried?" She laughed.

"It is certainly not flattery nor kindness. I am simply stating facts."

"I think you are exaggerating," She paused and looked at Darcy, who stood there speechless. "But I should thank you nevertheless."

Elizabeth accepted the colonel's hand and looked for the last time at Darcy, who apparently was occupied talking to Miss Brown, she even could detect a smile on his face.

* * *

In this chapter I wanted to pay more attention to the ladies, because Georgiana was like absent in the story. I wanted to show you their connection and how they are linked to each other. Apparently, Georgiana sees Elizabeth as her sister and that is why she chose to give her the necklace. Anyway...

Ohh lovely readers. Thank you so much for all the hundred reviews, which you helped me reach and all those follows and favs. You are great! But, one of you -which I must thank for his opinion, which proved to be helpful- said that something amiss from the story and that it lacks of interest as it keep going. What do you feel about this? Should I continue, is it worth it?


	11. Tha patterns of tides

**Chapter 11: The patterns of tides**

_"If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die." -Shakespeare_

Elizabeth's eyes turned repeatedly towards Darcy at dinner. He either conversed with Richard or with Miss Brown, who was seated next to him. She, on the other hand, was surprisingly very quiet and only talked when the others asked her something. Colonel and Georgiana, who was seated next to her, in convenient occasions, asked her if she was alright, but every time she replied with a mere 'Yes.' But she was not -everyone could see it. She attempted to taste the delicious food, which was served, but she could not. She practically pushed her dish away and took some sips of wine.

"Do you intend to become drunk?" Colonel whispered to her ear. "If wine is going to lighten your spirits, I must order to fetch us the barrel," Elizabeth giggled a little and the Colonel continued "At last, Miss Bennet is back. I thought for one moment that I was seated next to a statue."

"I am just a little tired," she lied and took another sip. "You must excuse me if I am not the company you desired."

"You should not unease yourself for my behalf, you are exactly the company I desire."

Elizabeth turned her eyes and met his; she laughed, "Do not make me blush."

Darcy looked at her briefly once more, before he returned his attention again to Penelope, who kept him occupied with a light conversation. Something was wrong, he knew her very well. She was not talking much nor laughing and she seemed to have lost the sparkle in her eyes. She was different, she had changed. But no, the morning when they arrived she was the old Miss Bennet, the woman he fell in love. Now, that lady was stiff and cold, sad like something was troubling her. Nevertheless, she looked like heaven -even in bad spirits. 'What is passing through her mind?' He thought.

"Mr. Darcy?" he heard a light voice, interrupting his thoughts. His eyes fell upon Miss Brown, who was waiting for his reply, "I suppose that I have tired you."

"No, not at all. You must forgive me, for I got distracted."

She smiled a little, "Yes" she paused, trying to think for another subject that they could discuss, "She is blooming"

Darcy looked at Elizabeth, just to see her laughing at something the colonel said. "Yes, she is."

"And that dress looks divine in her, don't you agree?"

"Yes, indeed. I have never seen her more beautiful."

"Ohh! How much I have missed her," Penelope said and Darcy immediately looked at her. 'Were they acquaintances long before they were introduced today?' He thought.

"Stop talking about me!" Georgiana yelled. Darcy paled; of course she must had been talking about his sister. He had never felt more foolish in his entire life; he was about to expose himself. "Shall we talk about something more pleasant?"

* * *

As they entered the drawing room and tea was about to be served, he immediately asked Georgiana to play something for them. She happily obeyed, for she knew that her playing was one of the things that gave him pleasure.

"Play something cheerful," the colonel requested and approached Elizabeth, who was seated on the couch, next to Penelope. "You will partner me for this, won't you?"

Elizabeth froze as she saw Richard's hand, extending, waiting for her to take. She looked up, just to meet his eyes and said, "You must forgive me, but I do not think I am in the mood for dancing."

Richard sat next to her on the couch and immediately took her hand, "But I do not have a partner since Darcy will oblige my cousin for a set and I dearly like to dance right now."

Elizabeth's eyes were upon Darcy, who had frozen as he heard his cousin. No, he had not the least intention to dance and if he had the only woman he should dance he would do so with Elizabeth. They kept staring at each other and since no one spoke for a second, she finally replied "I..." She tried to say, but as she saw with the corner of her eye, Darcy approaching Penelope, she continued, "Alright."

The both couples stood in the middle of the room and starting pacing in circles. Elizabeth could hear Mr. Darcy talking to Miss Brown about this dance and her comments on how much she loved this dance. Elizabeth frowned as she heard the reply of Mr. Darcy, who agreed with her.

"Have I done something to upset you?" The colonel asked at last. She looked at him directly on the eyes. But Richard, who saw her expression, continued, "You do not talk and since I am well aware how much you love to dance, still the activity seems not to please you."

"No, do not worry yourself."

"To be fond of dancing is a certain step towards falling in love," he stated.

Elizabeth froze and looked at him, even Darcy looked at him. Darcy's heart immediately popped a little bit more, for his cousin had not gotten over her yet. His eyes fell on Elizabeth then, who turned to look at him but as their eyes met, she instantly took her gaze away.

"I am very pleased, you see, the last time I danced was when you left." That was all she managed to say. Yes, the last time she danced was with Mr. Darcy.

"Really?" Richard asked, not able to believe it. "I never got the chance of teaching waltz, did I?"

Immediately, she laughed and replied, "You did not, but I am sure that now you are here you will devote at least an hour for me, won't you?"

She felt Darcy's intense gaze on her. He thought that he had a heart attack, for his heart stopped a minute. Ohh no, not the waltz again! He did not want to remember all those dradful things he imagined nor the feelings he felt, that tortured him for days. This could not be borne with.

"I must inform you, Elizabeth, that waltz is not socially acceptable. I am scandalized that you still desire to learn," It was Darcy's voice that was heard.

Elizabeth looked at him, for she did not believe that he wanted to enter their conversation. She took a minute, before she replied; "I find your statement very controversial. I think that you are familiar with the dance, but yet you despise it. Do you truly believe what you are saying or are you trying to provoke me?"

He smiled ironically, for they both knew well that the latter was true. Yes, indeed, he tried to prevent her from the prospect of embracing herself with his cousin. "Waltz is not suitable for young ladies you see, society does not allow it yet."

"But if young ladies cannot know how to waltz, then with whom men would dance it with?" she asked causing everyone to gasp. "I do not dare to think that you are suggesting that you would use your own sex for this kind of dance."

Everyone laughed. It was time for Penelope to speak, "I see that Miss Bennet is very fond of teasing you."

Darcy looked at her, "Yes, indeed, but I think she is fond of teasing in general. Is that not true Elizabeth?"

She turned her gaze again to him and simply replied, "Yes"

Soon, the dance ended and the couples sat again on the couch. Richard obliged Elizabeth to converse again and in most occasions, Miss Brown took part in expressing her opinion. Darcy had noticed a difference about her, in a good way. She was altered, in manners, even in the tone of her voice.

"Do you play Miss Bennet?" The young lady asked her.

"Yes, but very poorly."

"No, that is not true at all." Georgiana interrupted. "She is very good, is she not?"

"She is indeed," Darcy replied and everyone looked at him.

"Why do you not play for us?" Penelope insisted.

"Ohh no I beg you," Elizabeth replied immediately. "After Georgiana's excellent performance, mine would not be justified."

"Yes, that is true" she smiled. "Georgiana is a professional in the pianoforte, on the other hand, I find more interest in the harp"

"I see, Welsh I presume," Elizabeth asked and Penelope nodded. "I would love to hear you play sometime."

"Do you draw?" Miss Brown asked again and Elizabeth shook her head negatively. "That is a pity indeed. I believe that you never had the opportunity to do so."

Elizabeth froze. Did she just offend her? She looked immediately at Darcy, who was looking back at her. In fact, everyone was looking at her waiting for her reply, they knew very well that she could let anything fall down. They all waited patiently for her outburst. When someone challenged her, she fought back. She took a deep breath and with a civil smile she replied, "I am sorry to pain you but you are quite mistaken. You see, I prefer to do fewer things for my only pure pleasure, instead of every features that an accomplished lady should possess, only because her vanity desires to be called thus." Darcy coughed and Richard sighed. How much Darcy loved her, for her sharp tongue, the quickness of her mind and especially the eyes, which were getting darker every time she was angry.

Penelope smiled a little, but not yet defeated, "I cannot say that you are wrong, but yet a lady should have at least the decent virtues that are required by her sex."

"Pray tell me, what are they?"

"Essential requires are civility," she paused and looked at her provocatively "patience, wisdom, characteristics that are universality agreed that any human should have. Then, as for the more complex ones, a proper lady should possess talents for music, dancing, drawing and studying."

Elizabeth laughed. "Mr. Darcy would certainly agree with you, I am sure, for you cease to have the same opinion on this matter, but..."

Penelope looked at him and then quickly responded before Elizabeth could, "And not only on this."

Elizabeth froze and her eyes widened. Georgiana, who sensed her discomfort, immediately spoke, preventing Elizabeth's harsh words to come out. "Penelope, could you please turn the pages for me?" The young lady took her hand and led her to the pianoforte, where they both sat down.

Elizabeth looked at Darcy for the last time, just to see him looking towards the ladies. 'She must still fancy her,' she thought. "I am sorry for my cousin's behavior," she heard the colonel saying in her ear.

"It is fine, I assure you," she smiled a little.

Richard smiled back at her and stood up, walking away, approaching the ladies. Immediately, Darcy took his place and sat next to her. He looked at her and said, almost whispering, causing her to shiver, "I hope that she did not upset you."

Elizabeth looked on his eyes, "She did not."

They kept staring at each other for a while, until Darcy broke the silence, "You look so beautiful tonight."

Elizabeth blushed and looked down, replying in a low voice, "Thank you"

"Do not hide your blush," he laughed. "Have not already told you that you look quite fetching when you do?"

She laughed and her laugh spread across the room, like a soft breeze in autumn. Darcy looked at her and realized again why he had fallen in love with her in the first place. When he stared at her, the whole world stopped. It stopped and all that existed for him was she and his eyes staring at her. There was nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. His world just stopped and it was a beautiful place, in which there was only her. Just her, and his eyes staring at her.

It was heaven.

* * *

It is quite a long chapter, which many things going on around here. I was inspired by Aaron Zigman music, is one of the best modern composers. Please, take some time to listen to him you are going to cry. In the next one, Darcy and Elizabeth would talk and I am really anxious about it, because I want to make it good.

Anyway, warm my heart, by taking some time to review. You know that I cannot do this without your help.


	12. A lift from the ground

**Chapter 12: A lift from the ground**

The following week passed as quickly as it had come. Georgiana and Penelope spent most of their time together, but since Elizabeth did not fancy her at all she preferred to be left alone. Darcy, with the colonel, went riding or hunting and in the evenings, as usual, they were all amused by Georgiana's playing and the taste of tea in the drawing room.

It had been nearly five months since the day she arrived here and yet she could feel the same feelings that she felt when she arrived, alone. But, that only happened because of the new presence here, yes, indeed. She certainly did not hate her; but she had not pleasant feelings towards her either. She could see her efforts of approaching Mr. Darcy more, and himself giving her the attention she desired. No, that was not jealousy, it was certainly not. But, it was a feeling similar to it. She was only bitter that he did not pay her such attention as he did with Penelope. Maybe, because he enjoyed her company better than hers, of course that was true. Penelope Brown was an accomplished, rich and beautiful woman and Elizabeth was not - as he so frankly had pointed out. A very dangerous combination for Darcy to fall in, but maybe he had not fallen in yet, maybe he had not yet recovered. He must be still in love with her, she thought.

"Are you alright?" she heard a voice next to her.

She looked up, just to saw his face. Mr. Darcy's piercing blue eyes. "Yes"

"It is strange to find you here, I thought you would be with the ladies."

"Oh no," Elizabeth heartily protested, "Georgiana called the dressmaker. She said that she and Penelope were in need of new clothes."

"I believed that women are in fond of adjusting the new fashion," he paused and looked at her eyes "Are you not?"

"Not that particularly," she smiled weakly. "But, pray tell me, what are you doing here?"

"I need a book, there is something I want to show Richard"

Elizabeth smiled and Darcy melt. "Let me help you..." she replied and stood up.

Darcy told her the title of the book and Elizabeth started looking at the shelves. Darcy, who could barely breathe anymore, as her perfume overwhelmed him, kept his eyes fixed on her. She looked divine, and so tempting. When Elizabeth's eyes finally caught the title of the book, she tried to reach it, but it was too high. She stood on her toes and with a little jump, she grabbed it. But, she was supposed to land on the ground and she did not. She could feel her feet not touching the ground; she could feel a hand on her waist, someone right behind her, a breath on her neck and a warm embrace. After a second, Darcy gently let her go, but he did not move an inch. Elizabeth turned her face to look at him and she took some deep breaths to prevent her blushing. They were few inches apart.

"I am sorry," he replied with a severe look.

Elizabeth looked at him in the eyes and laughed, "Do not look so severe, you will break my weak heart." His eyes widen. He certainly did not want to break her heart, he wanted to treasure it in his own, keep it in his hands and feel its beating. She was not weak; on the contrary, he was weak. She made him weak. He smiled "I did not believe you could be frightened so easily."

She laughed again and he could feel her breath on his chest "But, I do." They looked in the eyes for a while, like it was eternity "Here is the book," she replied.

Darcy took it in his hands while he touched her fingers and immediately his look fell on her, just to see her looking back at him with her big eyes. He took a step closer just to feel her scent. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. As his mouth touched her skin, Darcy could feel the blood boiling and shivered. "Thank you," he murmured.

"My pleasure," she replied and looked at his eyes, just as his look was fixed on her again.

But, just as he heard the door, he immediately let go her hand as thought it was burning. He took some steps away from her and turned to look at the person, who just entered. It was his sister.

"I found you at last," she said with a breath. "I have been looking everywhere for you, brother."

"Whatever for?" he asked seriously.

"Penelope and I need your opinion." she claimed. "We need you to tell us, which dress favor us best."

Elizabeth giggled and Darcy coughed. "I have business Georgiana."

"Richard can wait, we need you," she said and grabbed him by his arm, dragging him out of the room. "Elizabeth, please come," she yelled and she obeyed.

Just as they entered the room, they found an old lady fixing Miss Brown's dress, but as she saw them coming, she quickly stood up and removed herself from their sight. She wore a deep blue red with a beige ribbon on her waist and the sleeved had some embroiled flowers on them. She was very beautiful, indeed.

"I think she looks very beautiful, but Penelope believes that the color does not suit her… what do you think?" Georgiana said, making her friend blush from embarrassment. She never believed that she was actually serious of demanding her brother's help for such matters.

"I think Georgiana is right. You look very beautiful, indeed." He claimed.

Elizabeth sighed. She could not be in a worse position; she could just die right there. "I agree."

"I shall keep it then," Penelope said cheerfully. "There is a ball coming after all."

"Elizabeth, would you be able not to wear black?" Georgiana asked "I am really eager to see you with bright colours."

She laughed and Darcy looked at her. Yes, his sister was entirely right. He was eager to see her with bright colours too, when all her glory would be visible. "Yes, I would. I will part them in a week, actually."

"Splendid." Georgiana replied. "Then, you really need a new dress."

Elizabeth smiled a little "I think not" she paused. "If you excuse me..."

But, before anyone could protest, she had already exited the room. Darcy stood there speechless. Whatever happened?

"That was unkind from you, dear Georgiana." Penelope broke the silence "To insist upon having a new dress, when she has no money to pay for it."

It hit like rock to Darcy's ears. Maybe her words were harsh, but they must be true. Elizabeth depended on him and with no dowry at all, how was she able to accommodate her needs? He was supposed to do that. He could feel his legs weaker, as he realized how awfully he had neglected her. She certainly did not deserve it. She deserved more, much more.

In fact, she deserved everything.

* * *

Hello:) Thank you so so much for your lovely reviews and follows, you really have no idea how much they mean to me. Thanks to my lovely beta, who is always there, even with her busy schedule. Also, I need to apologize for not updating sooner, but I have a busy schedule and I will not be able to update so frequently as I did. But, I will make sure that the chapter would be longer. I hope you can understand.

This chapter is not a great one, not long either. But, there was something that had to be written. You see, I had to focus on the plot of the story, so I a sorry for interrupted their discussion. But, I promise the next chapter is going to be all about Darcy and Elizabeth. I think it is going to be the most important chapter. But, I would not spoil it by telling you. You will have to wait.

I know that I do not deserve any reviews for this chapter, but I would love to hear from you, anyway. See you soon xx


	13. Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

**Chapter 13: kiss me beneath the milky twilight**

_"O, here_

_Will I set up my everlasting rest,_

_And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars_

_From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!_

_Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you_

_The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss_

_A dateless bargain to engrossing death!" -Shakespeare_

Six days later, Elizabeth spent most of her time with the colonel, due to Darcy's urgent departure; he had gone to London for business that could not be delayed. So, he left the colonel to keep company to the ladies. Well, actually he did not want to, he was still afraid of Elizabeth's attachment with him, but he was well aware that his cousin had given up the idea of proposing to her, he could at least breath easily. Yes, indeed. Richard confessed to him a night before his departure -upon Darcy's insistence of course, that even thought he still fancied her, he would not make her an offer. He was supposed to marry for money and that was what he intended to do. His company was always pleasant and desired by Elizabeth; he was a great fellow to talk to, even in times of uneasiness. In fact, he was the only one, who Elizabeth could talk to this month, because Georgiana was occupied with her dear friend. It was one afternoon, when they were left alone, because the other ladies were on the drawing room, practicing their duet.

"It would be great, if you would accompany us to London," Richard finally said.

"You know that this is not possible," she smiled a little.

"But, I know that you do not intend to stay long there, do you?"

"No, indeed." he replied. "I am accompanying my cousin and maybe I would pay a visit to my family."

"Georgiana would Miss Penelope's company. But, I suppose Darcy as well."

The colonel laughed. "Darcy?"

"Yes," she simply replied.

"Oh, I see. Georgiana has already told you about their previous attachment."

Elizabeth nodded. "Miss Brown is a very respectable, accomplished lady. It would make a perfect match for him, I believe"

It took him some minutes to respond. "You are not wrong, but I guess we would never really understand when Darcy is in love. He behaves exactly as he does now."

Elizabeth smiled. "It is very hard," she paused "to hide your feelings, especially when they are so strong."

"You speak as though you have a personal experience. Could that be so?"

"Maybe," she smiled a little. "But, really you do not expect me to reveal him to you."

The next morning, Penelope Brown and Colonel Fitzwilliam departed. At last, Elizabeth could breathe; for she felt immediately a weight leaving. Maybe she was thinking selfishly, but she wanted the Darcys all by herself. Yes, even the master, especially him. She wanted Mr. Darcy's company, even more than Georgiana's, which was unusual if you though that she almost hated him some months ago. But no, those feelings had gone. She felt different things for him; pleasant things. Kind of things that made her blush. She even dreamt about him at nights. It was a great astonishment to her, when she saw him this very afternoon. He said that he had taken care of his business and that he wanted to return home soon as possible. The three of them, after dinner, sat on the drawing room and Darcy delighted them with some stories of his early years. But, when it was getting dark, Georgiana claimed that she was tired and desired to sleep. She was indeed exhausted, for she had slept only few hours yesterday. So, Elizabeth was left alone with Darcy. They both looked for a while at each other, without saying anything, but not baring it any longer, she finally decided to speak.

"Tell me, was your trip exciting?"

It took him a minute to respond and with coldness he replied, "Nothing unusual happened. Business you see, are not always pleasant."

She nodded. "You must miss your guests company," she claimed

"No, not at all. On the contrary, I am very pleased that I can enjoy myself at last. They occupied much of my time." Elizabeth looked down to her lap and opened her mouth to reply, but actually she did not. Instead, she decided that it was for the best to stay silent. Darcy, who saw her discomfort, spoke "What did you do while I was gone?"

She looked up and met his eyes "Nothing interesting, really."

He immediately stood up and said, "I would be back shortly. Excuse me." He bowed and left. But, it took him a minute to return and when he did, he was holding something. He approached her and handed her the package. Elizabeth took it on her hands and waited for his allowance to open it.

"It is for you," he said and smiled a little. Elizabeth gave him an enchanted smile and without hesitating any longer, she opened it.

"It is a dress," she replied cheerfully. It was a white dress with a light pink ribbon. She immediately looked at him and he smiled.

"I hope it is in your liking. I do not claim that I am aware of women's fashion, but I chose it on my own, hoping that you will approve it."

Elizabeth could not feel her legs. Her heart was beating so fast and her hands were trembling. "I do approve it. I love it."

"I am glad," he smiled a little and took a step closer to her.

"But, I do not deserve it. I do not deserve such kindness from you."

"I am sure you do," he paused and took another step closer, so that he could feel her breathing "I know that tomorrow you will be able to wear any dress you choose, that you will get rid of black, so I wanted this to be the first one of the beginning."

"I do not know how to thank you," she replied seriously, with her eyes sparkling. "Mr. Darcy..."

"You really do not have to." he said and took some deep breaths. "You must know, surely you must know..." He paused again to breath "but perhaps you do not." He opened his mouth to speak sometimes, but in vain, he could not manage a word. Instead, with his palm, he touched her cheek and looking her eyes the whole time, he closed the distance between them. As his lips touched hers, he felt warmth inside him. A fulfilling emotion that he had never felt before. He was kissing her as he had never kissed anyone like this before and it was blissful oblivion; for she was the only real thing in the world. As he was kissing her the heat of his body increased, and it exhaled a wild, untamed fragrance.

Suddenly, he stopped and opened his eyes to meet hers. But, without saying much, he crashed his lips into hers again. It was at first almost as if he hadn't wanted to kiss her. His mouth was hard on hers, unyielding; then he put both arms around her and pulled her against him. His lips softened. She could feel the rapid beat of his heart, taste the sweetness of apples still on his mouth. She wound her hands into his hair, as she'd wanted to do since the first time she'd seen him. His hair curled around her fingers, silky and fine. Her heart was hammering, and there was a rushing sound in her ears, like beating wings. It seared her senses; it made her feel alive, even as it sucked that life away - and she kept coming back to it, again and again. Waves of sensation pulled her under - drowning her. But he made drowning feel like the loveliest thing. Like she was losing her breath, but she didn't need it, didn't want it, only wanted him.

When they parted again, neither of them spoke. Elizabeth tried to say something, but she could not. In fact, he was supposed to do that, but he did not. She could not bear to look at him just now. If she did, she might well slap him. Or cry. Or kiss him. And never know which was right and which was wrong and which was madness. She preferred to leave. So, she did.

* * *

Sorry to leave it there, but I was really confused what to write next, so I prefered to continue in another chapter. I have already written the next one, but it is short as well. i am trying to make it longer and I do not know how much this would take. Anyway...Tell me, did you expect that? I would love to hear your opinions.


	14. This is our fate, I'm yours

**Chapter 14: This is our fate; I am yours.**

I took him five seconds to realize what just happened, if he dreamt this or if it was reality. But, it was not a fantasy, Elizabeth was indeed in front of him, kissing him back. He could still feel the warmness of her lips on his. How her eyes sparkled and how perfectly their tongues moved. It was heaven. But as he blinked his eyes sometimes, to recover himself, he saw her moving away. And in an instant, she was gone. All he had to do was to catch her. His legs were trembling and his heart was beating so fast, he felt that he was about to die. "Elizabeth!" he yelled.

But, she did not stop. On the contrary, she kept moving steadily. But, as she was about to open her chamber's door, he grabbed her by her hand, preventing from moving. Darcy gently turned her, so she could face him. As their eyes met, they both felt a sparkle between them and instantly they remembered the kiss they shared a moment ago. "Do I have any chance of succeding?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"My dearest Elizabeth" said he " for dearest you will always be, whatever the event of this hour's conversation, my dearest, most beloved Elizabeth, tell me once. Say no, if it is to be said" but she could hardly breathe, let alone speak "You are silent, absolutely silent." Elizabeth was almost ready to sink under the agination of this moment. The dread of being awakened from the happiest dream, was perhaps the most permiment feeling. "I cannot make speeches and whenever I try to do, it seems that I offend you." He continued with a tone of a such sincere, tenderness as was tolerably convincion. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But I do, Elizabeth, with all my heart and soul"

"But, I thought that you only see me as your sister."

"No, it is far from that."He said with a breath

"What about Miss Brown?" she asked, before he had the chance to continue his speech.

"Penelope? What about her?"

"Don't you love her?"

"Of course not." He paused and took her hand in his "You are the one, who captured my heart. It is you, who must be loved."

"I can hardly believe it."

His voice was trembling. "But you must. It is you, who I desire to be my wife. Please" he said with a breath "I beg you to end my agony and consend to be my wife"

"Yes" she smiply said, so simply that Darcy did not know what to think.

"Do you love me, then?" He asked and kissed her hand. She nodded. "Truly?" She nodded again. "You should know that you just made me the happiest of men."

Elizabeth laughed and said "I thought that I made you so, the moment you compromised me with your kiss."

Darcy smiled "You are not entirely wrong, my dear." he paused. "May I kiss you again?"

She nodded. He put his hands on one side of her face, and the room fell away. He had never gotten so lost in a kiss before. And then, the space between them exploded. He tasted her and realized how much he had been starving. He had been loved before, but it didn't feel like this. He was kissed before, but it didn't burn him alive. Maybe it lasted a minute, and maybe it was an hour. All he knew was how perfect was that kiss, and how soft her skin was when it brushed against his, and that even if he did not know it until then, he had been waiting for this person forever. There was no wonder to him that their kiss, for when mouth came to mouth, in all its stillness, breath joins breath, and taste joins taste, warmth was enwarmed, and tongues communed in a soundless language, and those things were said that cannot find a shape, have a name, or know a life in the pitiful faults of speech.

When they parted, they kept staring at each other. It felt like eternity, like they were all alone in the world and nothing else mattered anymore. "Do you have any idea how many hours I have been agonizing on how could I ever make you mine?"

"But, I am yours." She smiled a little. "I love you"

His heart stop. Such deadly words spoken from such a tempting mouth. All he ever wanted was to hear his name out of her lips and confess her love to him. It was better than dreams, because you see he had dreamt this moments for months, how it would sound to hear these things. But, those feelings he felt right now, certainly were not evem close to his dreams. "I am sorry that your first kiss was so cruel."

Elizabeth touched his hand and with a smile on her face, she said "It was not." She paused "It does not matter really; since it was from you."

Darcy laughed "I cannot imagine my life without you" he said and kissed her palm.

"Why the frown?"

"I am afraid." he admitted. "I am afraid that you are already aware the power you have on me and you would use it against me."

Elizabeth just smiled, for his words were not entirely wrong. In fact, she desired something right now and she was willing to get it. "Now, you mention it, I was about to request something. I would like you to kiss me again, but If believe that my requests would be disagreeable from now on, I think Mr. Darcy it is better for me to retire"

He laughed and Elizabeth froze. She never realized until now how handsome he looked, when he smiled. It was not Darcy, she knew, he was someone else. He was her fiance. "My dear, you are really obsessed with my kisses."

Elizabeth took a serious expression, as though she was mad. "If you start denying me things from now, what will you do once we get married?"

He laughed again for her teasing words "You are well aware that I will always adore you, are you not?" But she did not speak, she just blinked. His heart beat faster and faster as her white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed her, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete. "Say it again"

"I love you, Mr. Darcy"

"Mr. Darcy -you always call me Mr. Darcy and, from habit, it has not so very formal a sound. And yet it is formal. I want you to call me something else, but I do not know what."

"I remember once calling you cousin, but I believe that would not be appropriate, don't you think?" she teased.

"Can you not call me by my christian name?"

"Impossible -I never can call you any thing but Mr. Darcy at the presence, but I will promise that I will use all my elegant tenderness every time I will adress you." But Elizabeth, seeing his displeasure, she continued "I will " she added laughing, blushing "call you by your christian name at the future. I do not say when, because I want to surprise you"

He kissed her hand again "You always surprise me, Elizabeth"

She blushed. "I intend to keep doing so, for I do not want you to be bored of me soon."

"Ohh no" he protested "My life with you would never be boring."

* * *

As he was about to enter the dinning room for breakfast, the next day, he took a deep breath to restrict himself for falling under her spell again. He could hardly sleep last night, for she was with him, like a vision, the whole time. He imagined her presence next to him, and he blushed as he thought again the wild things he wanted to do with her. Darcy had never felt more vulnerable and humiliated in his entire being. How could he permit himself to be thus weak because of a woman? Indeed, he knew that as soon as he would enter this room and his look would fell on hers, he would be lost. But, it was a sweet torture that he did not want to let it slip away. As doomned as he was, he decided to step in. She was seated in her usual sit, next to Georgiana. Their eyes locked and she smiled brightly. He could not help drinking in the sight of her in the white gown that he gave her last night. She looked like a godness, utterly beautiful with eyes shining with shy adoration at him. Darcy, who could barely breathe anymore, he sat down and said a simply "Good morning". He had just seen her for a minute, and she had magically drown him in her web. He took some deep breaths, just to calm himself, for she had a great impact on his person, so great that he simply needed to put his hand under her gown and... But, thank God that Georgiana decided to speak, for it would be embaracing for the others to realize his wicked thoughts.

"Doesn't she look beautiful, Fitzwilliam?"

Darcy immediately looked at her, only to see her adorable blush. How tempting she was to him, she surely did not know. "Indeed, you are bewitching."

"Thank you, sir" she smiled

"I thought that it would be a great opportunity to go for a picnic in the lake since the weather is so agreeable. I hope that you do not mind." Georgiana spoke again.

"Are you not going to invite me? How unthoughtful of you, Georgiana" he teased.

"But, I thought that you were busy." She paused and smiled "Does it mean that you will come?" He nodded. Georgiana immediately stood up and without saying anything further, she exited the room, but before she did she yelled to Elizabeth "Come!"

Her back stiffened. She looked at him apologetically. He simply pulled a face, making her laugh. But lord, how beautiful she was when she did, or when she smiled or even breathe. So beautiful that sometimes it hurt. He wanted to talk to her, he had so much to tell her, but he was well aware that now was not the time. As she put her hand on the table, just to gain her strength to stand up, Darcy took it in his and kissed. She blushed again, but held his gaze. Within a minute, she was gone.

* * *

An hour later or so, when the party was seated comfortably on the ground, near the lake, enjoying their lunch, Darcy finally decided to speak. Since the time they arrived, he had not even said a word, not that he did not want to speak or that he did not have something to say, but his mind was engaged. He was thinking of how he should announce the news to his sister, but seeing her in a cheerful mood, he took the courage to say it now.

"Georgiana" he said and all the eyes were on him "there is something I want to tell you" Elizabeth's eyes widen, for she immediately realized what he was about to say. "In, fact me and Elizabeth have something to say to you." Georgiana turned to look at her, just to see her looking on her lap, embarrassed. "I got engaged."

Georgiana sighed and after a second, she managed to say "With whom?"

"I asked Elizabeth to be my wife and she consented to the task." he said and took her hand in his. Elizabeth looked up and smiled to him brightly.

"What about Penelope?" his sister asked, but as the words came out, she immediately regretted them. She did not want to put anyone in a difficult position, but things were so confusing. As she heard Georgiana's words, Elizabeth took away her hand from Darcy's, but with a quick movement, he claimed it back.

"What gave you the impression of holding any regard towards her?" he asked seriously.

"You did not gave any impression about Elizabeth either." she almost protested.

Elizabeth sighed; she never believed that Georgiana would be not consent with their attachment, but obviously she was wrong. Elizabeth looked down again and with effort she took her hand away, within a second she stood up and said "I think it is wise to leave you alone."

"No" the young lady almost yelled. "I am sorry.. it is just that I never expected this to happen. Please, Elizabeth forgive me"

She sat down again and offered her a weak smile. "Are you not pleased?"

"Of course I am" Georgiana said and hugged her immediately. "I could not imagine a better or a kinder sister." They both laughed and tighten the hug. When they parted, the young lady asked "When is the wedding?"

Darcy turned to look at Elizabeth, for she was supposed to manage these things. He took some deep breaths, wishing that their courtship would not last long. He wanted her so badly that he could hardly wait any longer. He hoped for the moment when they would be married and that he would be able to kiss her without having to stop. "Within the month perhaps?"

Elizabeth looked at him and then Georgiana. They exchanged looks and immediately laughed. When they both calmed down, Georgiana said "You certainly are not aware of the wedding procedure, Fitzwilliam. If you want a grand wedding, the preparations surely will not be ready within the month"

"But I do not want a grand marriage, few people would do" he protested. He could not wait more than a month to make Elizabeth his. She was a seductress, yes that what she was. Maybe not consceunsly, but that was what she looked like to him.

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked him and smiled. He nodded. "Within the month, then"

Darcy smiled; for he had chose the best wife indeed. The most obedient wife and desirable one.

"When are you going to announce it?" Georgiana asked.

"At the Christmas ball." he replied seriously.

* * *

I hope that you are pleased with this chapter because you all waited for it. I only hope that it was not disappointing, but if it was the next one is only a D&E, so you might enjoy that one. Please tell me that it is not; for I wanted to make it good haha. How awesome is that I am now updating daily? I did not want to keep you in suspence and because I am aware that you did not like short chapters, I tried to make this one large. How awesome am I? hahah

Anyway, I honestly have to tell you how much I appreciate every follow and every review you have made. It spins my world seriously, especially now that I need it more than ever. I am having a hard time, so every love I receive from you, make me smile. So, thnk you again and again. Because of you and all the lovely reviews I received from the previous chapter, I was able to write three chapters within a day and I am very proud of it:)

Do not forget to tell me your thoughts about this chapter and be prepared for the next one; a discussion that you waited for, including the annoying Penelope hehe


	15. Lay a whisper on my pillow

**Chapter 15: Lay a whisper on my pillow**

_"Then love knew it was called love._

_And when I lifted my eyes to your name,_

_suddenly your heart showed me my way" -Pablo Neruda_

The next week could be called dull, at least for Darcy. You see, the young ladies spend their time together almost every day, arranging things for the wedding but for the ball as well. This ball was a tradition to the Darcy family and it was held at Christmas, precisely two week from now. Georgiana, who was still somehow the mistress of the estate, and was supposed to be in charge of the ball, but she wanted the assistance of her sister-to-be. So, Georgiana and Elizabeth were occupied the whole week, leaving Darcy alone. It was only one afternoon, when the two ladies did not share the company of each other.

Darcy, who was in the drawing room, enjoying Georgiana's performance, he decided to speak when he found the chance "How are the arrangements going?"

"Perfectly, I suppose" his sister simply replied.

Darcy took a deep breath and asked what he wanted in the first place "Where is Elizabeth?"

Georgiana smiled and replied "I believe, she is in your study"

Darcy, without saying any further, suddenly stood up and left in hurry the room, but he could clearly hear his sister's giggling from behind. But he did not care; he wanted to see Elizabeth. And that was where he was going.

When he entered quietly his study, he found her looking at some papers and taking some brief notes. She was clearly so concentrated. On what she was doing, for she did not looked up when Darcy approached her. She only realized him coming in, when he decided to make his presence known by coughing.

"You startled me, Mr. Darcy" she said putting a hand on her heart, trying to calm down. "I hope that you do not mind, me being here."

He only shook his hand negatively. For a moment, they did not talk; they just simply stared at each other. "Are you well?" he asked and moved towards her.

"I have not grown unwell since the last time you saw me" she laughed at his silly question. "You do not seem fine. Is something the matter?"

Darcy took a step even closer to her and put his hand upon Elizabeth's "Have you notice that this is the only time we have been alone since last week?"

"Now that you mention it, I believe you are right." She smiled weakly at him.

"You hardly pay any attention to me." he said with a serious look. Elizabeth first looked at him and then she looked down on their hands - Darcy was drawing lazy lines on her palm.

Lizzy took a deep breath to calm herself, for his actions did not help her to concentrate at all. It was strange but she never felt like this before. Every time Darcy smiled to her or touched her, her heart stopped for a second and then she felt butterflies in her stomach. She could even hear her heart beating so fast and dreams playing next to her ear. She did not have any idea why she felt those strong feeling every time they were together. But, that did not mean that they were unpleasant, on the contrary she loved his company and longed for his touch. "I am sorry" she managed to say with a breath.

Darcy took a step even closer and leaned forward, towards her. She could feel his breath on her neck and closed her eyes, just to savour the feeling. She shivered at his whispering "I miss you." Keeping her eyes still closed, she nodded. Darcy put his hand on her waist and drew her near him.

Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at him. "I miss you too."

Darcy took her hand again and kissed it. He loved the feel and smell of her palm and because he was one of those men who was always ultimately looking to dissolve himself into a woman. He then slowly leaned in and put a kiss on her cheek, making her shiver. "If I start kissing you, I am not sure I would be able to stop"

She laughed a little "I have faith in you."

Darcy touched her neck and said "May I?" She nodded. He then, kissed her neck and she moaned once she felt his touch. He liked her unique smell, and it turned on all five of his senses, wanting to see her naked, touch her while naked, hear her as she moaned while he made love to her, taste her skin, and feel her naked body as he seduced her with the trailing of hungry fingers. But, quickly he restrained himself and turned to look at her. "You are very beautiful"

She laughed again and her laugh was spread across the room. "I am very pleased that you do not find me tolerable anymore"

He smiled a little "Oh no, on the contrary, Elizabeth"

Elizabeth took a step back, breaking their embrace. She then, moved towards the window and turned his back on him, looking outside. Darcy stared at her. He should have asked earlier himself why any room in the house was better than home to him when she entered it, and barren as a desert when she went out again—why he always noticed and remembered the little changes in her dress that h. had noticed and remembered in no other woman's before—why he saw her, heard her, and touched her as he had never seen, heard, and touched any other woman in his life. "When did you realize that you love me?"

Darcy sat on the chair and put his hands on his hair "I am not sure" he paused "I did not realize when it started and when I did, I was already in the middle without knowing it". Her giggle was sounded like heaven's harp to him. "But tell me, when did you realize it my dear?"

"It might sound horrible but I think it was when Penelope came" she replied embarrassed. "Georgiana had told me that you were in love with her once and I assumed from the way you were looking at her, that you still were."

"What happened to your pride, Miss Bennet?" he teased and she looked at him with a cold look. "Do not tell me that you were jealous of her account..." Elizabeth did not speak, because the truth was to embarrassing to reveal. Darcy's eyes widen. "Come closer" he instructed. Elizabeth turned to look at him, amazed; she obeyed nevertheless. "A little more." She took some steps towards him again. "More"

She laughed a little "If I come closer, I would be seated in your lap"

He smiled "Why not? It is a very decent lap." Elizabeth smiled to him and Darcy extended his hand for her to take. Within the second, she was in front of him, seated on his lap. Darcy observed her closer and his heart beat a little bit faster as he kept looking at her eyes. She was even more beautiful from so close. He touched her cheek with his palm. "Do you feel uncomfortable?"

"Don't you think we are being a little inappropriate?"

"No. I am your fiancé, am I not?" he replied seriously. They looked at each other for a second, even though it seemed like eternity.

"I still cannot believe that you chose me"

"Why shouldn't I? You are a rare woman, Elizabeth."

"Did you love her as much as you love me?"

His eyes widen and for a second he forgot to breathe. How could he ask her such a thing? Didn't she know that she meant the world to him? "Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold." he paused just to brush her hair "I do not deny that I was in love with her, or that I believed I was, but those feelings cannot compare in the least to the feelings I have towards you, my love. I believe that I have never felt what love was like, until you showed me. Because you see, the best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever.*"

"Fitzwilliam, tell me" she whispered in his ear; he froze "have I told you how much I love you?"

He did not imagine not once in his life that his name would sound so heavenly on his ears, neither that he would long for this person. But he did. He longed for Elizabeth. As he took a deep breath and before she moved her head away from his ears, he instantly touched her waist and pushed her to him so that her body would touch his. Then, within a second, his lips were on hers. They were kissing and that was the beginning of everything.

* * *

*I am sure that you all know this quote from Notebook. I love this book so much; it makes me cry everytime I read it. Anyway, I hope that you did enjoy this chapter for I did enjoy writing it. I wanted to mention the matter about Penelope and I wanted to clear out that Darcy did not feel anything for her; even though everyone else believed the otherwise. Also, I wanted to bring the couple closer than they already were. I want to clarify something. Their wedding would be in four weeks and the ball in two. Their courtship practically would last a month, a very decent time considering that Darcy does not have to ask for her hand. The next chapter would be the ball with a little disharmony.

Furthermore, I need to thank first my lovely new beta, Soph. She is a gem truly. You should probably know this, because I have told you already, but permit me to say it gain. You are amazing and I do not know how to thank you for all that you have done for me and will do. Next, I want to thank everyone one of you, who keep supporting me all this time. You give me such a strength and love that I think I do not deserve. So many reviews and almost 200 follows. I almost cried when I saw it. I love you all truly, without even knowing you so well. But, I do. You make me so happy everytime and I need to thank you for that.

Btw, do not forget to tell me your thoughts.


	16. The Christmas ball

**Chapter 16: The Christmas ball**

_"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -Chesterton_

It has been many years since Pemberley's ballroom looked so divine. Everything seemed to be done precisely as they should be. Georgiana, with the help of Elizabeth's, had done everything perfect. The guests were already arriving when Elizabeth finally joined the Darcy siblings in the receiving line. It was a personal request from Georgiana herself, that Elizabeth should receive their guest;after all she belonged to the family, before even her understanding with her brother. Darcy, who observed his fiancé, who looked absolutely stunning, could obviously detect her nervousness. Indeed, she was extremely nervous because she knew that they would announce their engagement. But, what frightened her, the most was how the ton would react to that and especially his relations. She was aware that Darcy had accepted her with all her faults, but she was not sure if the ton would do the same. She knew that her connections were zero and that she had no dowry that could make her a proper lady, as proper was defined by the ton.

As they entered in, Elizabeth observed as Darcy danced with his sister the first set. She observed him closely and admired his figure as he moved across the room. She felt so lucky for accepting a man such as himself, so handsome and good. After a while, she was found next to him, discussing the number of couples that were on the dance floor. She looked at him in the eyes for a while, without saying something and when finally he realized why she looked at him so, he whispered in her eyes "Exactly after dinner, when my aunt would be here." It was only then, when a gentleman approached them and presented himself to her.

"I am so glad to make your acquaintance at last, Miss Bennet" he said with a bright smile.

"I am very pleased too, Mr. Bingley" she replied and smiled out of courtesy. "Do you enjoyyourself?"

"Yes, indeed I am."

"How was your trip Bingley?" Darcy asked with his usual cold manner.

"Pleasant I suppose, only regretting the fact that my sister and I had to share the same carriage" he laughed "you know how talkative she can be." Darcy nodded and laughed a little.

There was a small pause and since nobody decided to speak, Bingley decided to break theawkwardness and ask Elizabeth's hand for the next set. She happily agreed. Mr. Bingley was a veryagreeable young man and seemed the kindest one. He always smiled and was an easy fellow to talk to. They talked about Pemberley and he asked Elizabeth if she liked her new life in the estate, how she used to spend her time and what she thought of Derbyshire. When the dance was over, they both returned to keep company to Darcy, who seemed to be staying alone, observing them. Then, Georgiana joined them with Miss Bingley. They introduced each other and conversed a little.

Elizabeth's last dance before dinner was claimed by the colonel, who arrived late. As they danced, she found the chance to ask him why Miss Brown did not attend and he happily replied that she had gone to Paris with her family. Then, they talked about the ball and the guests and occasionally they laughed at some comments the gentleman did. Before the dance was about to end, Elizabeth's eyes caught Darcy's figure standing in front of them. He was gathered by some gentlemen that Elizabethhad a slight acquaintance with, but did not remember the names. He seemed troubled and his gaze was fixed on her and as their eyes met, she smiled brightly to him. He did not make any move or expression. Of course, he could not. Seeing her dancing, laughing and touching his cousin when she should be doing all those things with him, did not help at all, especially now. He knew his cousin's feelings. But, she was his; after all she said it herself.

After dinner, Darcy danced the first set with his sister again, as it was accustomed to and as the dance ended, the big doors of the ballroom opened, announcing that Lady Catherine de Bourgh was here. Elizabeth took a very deep breath and looked at Darcy worried. He smiled to her, hoping that his pleasant expression would calm her, but actually it did not. Elizabeth was talking with some ladies, when she saw him approaching his aunt and starting talking to her. Suddenly, she saw the old lady looking at her with piercing eyes. She did not speak; instead it seemed that Darcy kept talking the whole time. Elizabeth closed her eyes for a brief second; when she opened them again, she found Darcy in front of her. He excused himself for taking Elizabeth away and as her hand was rested at his, he led her to the centre of the room. He coughed a little and everyone stopped talking. Elizabeth could feel all the eyes upon them and as the awkward silence prevailed, she felt her heart beating faster and faster. That was it.

"Thank you for your attention" Darcy said with his serious voice, having the Master of Pemberley attitude. "I have some news that I wish to share with you." Elizabeth suddenly squeezed his hand and he turned to look at her. Her eyes were fixed on him. "I am extremely happy to tell you that I am engaged." He could see everyone's astonishment, but nevertheless he continued. "Elizabeth Bennet has accepted to be my wife."

It seemed like an eternity, when the couple finally heard the congratulations. They smiled.

Elizabeth's worries even though they did not stopped, they minimized a little and that was mainly his reason. After their dance together, he introduced her to his aunt. Elizabeth's heart was beating so fast, that everything seemed to be moving so quickly. The old lady was civil enough to her, she asked her about her past and her interests and of course she did not forget to mention all these responsibilities that Elizabeth would soon have. She smiled and conversed with an agreeablemanner; for she was almost desperate for his aunt to like her. She heard from Georgiana that as a widow and childless she had turned all her attention to the Darcys and especially to the young lady, who seemed to have an overprotective attitude. She was not as disagreeable as she thought Elizabeth would be and that made it easier for her to like her. Well, not exactly, but close enough.

"I must tell you that I am impressed at my nephew's choice of wife." the old lady said with a severe voice, and Elizabeth then realized from where Darcy had taken his serious attitude.

Elizabeth smiled; for she did not completely disagree. "We cannot decide with whom we fall in love, can we?"

"I see that you are a wit." she stated. But Elizabeth made no reply or any expression that would give her the opportunity to elaborate. "Pray tell me, when is the wedding?"

"In two weeks."

"Such a short time, don't you think? I wonder what you did to him that made him so eager to marry such a woman of your station. I am quite astonishment at your schemes."

Elizabeth's mouth opened. Did she just hear those things or did she imagine them? Darcy immediately coughed; for he wanted to lighten the situation. He looked at Elizabeth, who seemed to be at loss and wanted to hug her protectively, but that could not happen. "Maybe it was that I simply did not do anything." she replied coldly and turned her look at him. Her eyes were piercing.

"Do you intend to stay, aunt?" Darcy finally spoke, trying to save Elizabeth.

"No, I have matters that I need to take care of." she paused. "You know, Miss Bennet, that from now on that you need to handle your responsibilities as a mistress of this estate as well as you can. Do not pollute the shades of Pemberley. Even though it is disgrace for him to marry you, let us hope that you are going to surprise us all and stand at his height."

He wanted to just die now. Darcy for one second closed his eyes afraid to face Elizabeth, for he knew that he would see something that would pain him. Instead, Elizabeth was calm, which was worrying considering her frankness and spontaneous opinion. He should act, fast. "I am sure she will." She turned to look at him and he smiled a little.

Elizabeth Bennet, soon Elizabeth Darcy -how perfect her name sounded every time he thought of it- was a delight. She danced with a lot of men, especially after the announcement, it seemed like everyone was so eager to meet her. Darcy, who disliked the dancing activity, staying most of the sets out, either conversing with his guests or simply stood there, but in the both cases, he always gazed at Elizabeth when he found a convenient position. He simply could not take his eyes off her, not only because she was extremely beautiful tonight, but also he felt some feelings that drove him mad. He felt possessiveness, a feeling that he had never felt before. Even though he knew she was his, nevertheless he wanted to lock her in a town and communicate only with him. It hurt that they could not spend every second of their time together, but most of all it hurt that he could not touch her or kiss her. Well, it hurt extensively sometimes when Elizabeth seemed to laugh at something a man would say. He observed her, every time when she laughs; Darcy instantly recognized her laugh across the room and always turned to look at her. He had chosen a great woman, indeed.

When the ball ended and they would be able be to retire, Georgiana escorted the colonel to his usual room. It was decided that he should say, for he was gone for too long and the young lady had missed his company. Which was true, but she wanted to leave his brother sometime alone with Elizabeth and that could not happen. So, it seemed more convenient to have someone else to keep her company, just to make her sure that she was not a burden to their relationship. The colonel was extremely quiet this evening and his non-comments about her, made Georgiana worried. He always seemed to have something to say to her and when he did not, he simply complimented her. But, tonight was different, he was quiet and isolated and the young lady assumed that the wine he drank had made him drunk a little.

It was in the middle of the night, an hour later after they retired, Elizabeth heard a loud knock on her door. She quickly fixed herself and answered the door. It was Georgiana. The young lady quickly grabbed Elizabeth's hands and led her out of the room. She seemed extremely worried, but soon Elizabeth realized why. She could hear loud voices, male voices. Elizabeth's mouth opened and without saying anything further, she led Georgiana down, where she assumed the gentlemen would be. She was right. The ladies stood outside of Darcy's study and looked at each other worried, not knowing what to do. Suddenly they heard, things falling and a little pause. Suddenly, the door opened and they came out, but not as they were expected. The colonel was holding Darcy's cravat and he punched him once in his stomach. Darcy made a loud noise, as he touched the place where he was hit. Then, he looked at his cousin, who was still holding his cravat and said "Are you mad?"

"No, you are mad. How could you Darce, eh?" The colonel drew Darcy closer to him and held his coat now, as he was ready to hit him again. "Tell me" He yelled.

Darcy opened his mouth, but closed it again, not knowing what to say. He looked at Elizabeth then, who had her hand covering her mouth in distress. He could see her worry and distress, as well as Georgiana's. The two ladies were holding each other, terrified. "You are drunk Richard!"

The man laughed and said "I can still hit you." and he did, repeatedly. He kept punching Darcy, who at first seemed to choose not to fight back but his patience was over. It was time to defend himself. They kept punching each other, until Elizabeth was found almost between them, trying to stop them. It was unsuccessful. Georgiana screamed and said "Elizabeth, do something!" She froze; she did not know what to do and it seemed that things were getting bad, because the gentlemen now kept hurting really each other badly. Elizabeth then, grabbed the colonel from his arm and stood in front of him, making him stop. He looked at Darcy angrily and then at Elizabeth and when he did, he calmed a little. Elizabeth smiled to him and said "Let us calm down." He turned to look at Darcy, who was staring at her for a second and then he moved quickly towards them, ready to fight again. But, before he was about to and had trouble to keep the colonel calm, Elizabeth yelled "Georgiana take Darcy away!"

A minute after, Elizabeth was seated in the drawing room with colonel when Georgiana with her brother at his study. Neither of them spoke. Georgiana simply hugged Darcy and he rested his head in her embrace. Elizabeth on the other hand, who could not do that, she had her hand on colonel's hand and he had hidden his face with his hands.

"Do you feel better?" she asked. He only nodded.

Colonel Fitzwilliam quickly turned to look at her and said "He does not love you, Elizabeth, he does not." He seemed vulnerable and distressed.

"Do not say things you may regret."

"I will not" he replied and brushed his hair with his hands.

"You are drunk and hurt; you do not mean what you say."

Quickly, the colonel excused himself and left, claiming that he wanted to rest. Elizabeth then, found the chance to knock on Darcy's study, where she knew that his sister and he would be. She entered silently and looked at Georgiana; the young lady smiled at her and excused herself. Darcy and Elizabeth were left alone. He was looking down and Elizabeth could not clearly see his face, so she approached him slowly and with her hand, she touched his face, making him looking at her. When their eyes met, Elizabeth's mouth opened.

"Oh my god, Darcy!" She cried out in distress when she saw his black eyes. "That must hurt enormously!"

Darcy took her hand and brought it close to his cheek, just to feel her closer to him. She was his only remedy after all. "I am sorry for seeing such a non-gentlemanly scene."

Elizabeth smiled to him. "How are you?"

"Fine" he simply said. "Did you speak with him?" Elizabeth nodded. "Did he tell you anything?" Elizabeth did not speak, but he could see her uneasiness. If Colonel Fitzwilliam had decided to tell what he told him before, Elizabeth would certainly not be here. But if he did not, then what did they discussed? "Tell me"

"He told me that you do not love me."

Darcy's eyes widen. "But, you know I do, don't you?"

She smiled and blushed a little. "I believe so"

"Believe or are you sure? There is a major difference."

"Whatever is the matter with you?" She said and took a step even closer to him.

"Nothing. Let us not speak of this anymore" She agreed.

* * *

I need to thank first my lovely beta, Soph, who is beyond perfection. Then, I need to tell you. Wow! Thank you so much for everything, I never believed that you would be interested in my story. I do not know what to say. The next one is some moments of the couple and a sneak peek of the wedding. I hope you do not hate me for what is coming.

You know what you have to do, tell me your opinion.


	17. Restless

**Chapter 17: Restless**

Darcy had never felt more alone in his life and he had this weird feeling of wanting the protection of his parents, the guidance that his mother would give him. He simply had no idea what to do, or think or say. He was not angry at his cousin, for he was his brother, like they were connected with flesh and blood. He was aware that himself was to blame, who was wrong, not only for not revealing his true feelings for Elizabeth to him, but also that he guided to give her up, just to selfishly make her his.

Elizabeth as she walked through the gardens of Pemberley, she suddenly saw Colonel Fitzwilliam seated on a bench. He seemed troubled and worried and physically it seemed that his fight with Darcy had not an impact on his skin. She approached him and sat next to him. It took her a minute to start talking. "How are you?"

"Fine, I suppose. I just have a headache" he replied coldly.

"I am glad to hear that you are not hurt"

To this he made no reply. Instead, he turned his look at her "I am thinking about leaving."

"Do not tell me that the reason of your departure would be because of what happened last night?" With his silence, Elizabeth understood. "You need to make peace with him. You cannot be angry at each other forever"

"You do not understand."

"Yes, maybe I do not. But, even though I am not aware of the reason of your fight, Darcy still remains your cousin. You cannot simply ignore this."

"I can and I will." he replied self-consciously.

"What about Georgiana? What about me?"

He looked at her again and simply smiled out of courtesy. "I think it is better to leave the things asthey are. I will return when everything have calmed down."

"Stay for the wedding, at least."

It took him a minute to reply and as the time past and made no answer, Elizabeth's worry was becoming bigger. "Alright."

"Thank you" she replied and put her hand on his arm. "Are the things so bad?"

It was a quick answer. "Yes."

* * *

Darcy was seated in the dining room, in his usual seat, enjoying lunch. He was silent compared to the other three, but he was not in the mood for talking. He had just another discussion with Richard, more civilized than the previous one. They did not mention the subject of their disagreement,neither did they mention Elizabeth. They just simply agreed on the fact that it would be best to be civil and talk with each other, until at least Richard would decide when it was best for him to forgive Darcy; for he did apologize. Elizabeth, who could see Darcy discomfort and who was seated his left as always, extended his hand to touch his under the table. But, when he felt her flesh upon his, he quickly moved his hand away. Elizabeth turned to look at him, but he seemed to stare at his plate.

It was later that day, when Elizabeth found the chance to approach Darcy, because ColonelFitzwilliam was occupied with Georgiana of course. He was in the library, isolated, and it seemed that he did not welcome her attention when she entered the room and approached him. She looked at the shelves, like she was searching for a book but she did not. The truth was that she waited for him to approach and talk to her, when he was ready. It did happen actually, well not as quickly as Elizabeth would hope, but it did. A quarter of an hour later.

"What are you looking for?" it was the only thing he asked, still seated in his chair.

"A book to distract me." She replied without looking at him.

"From what?" He looked at her.

"From your indifference." She laughed. He made no reply to this; instead she continued "How is your eye?"

"Much better."

"Darcy" she said hopelessly, approaching him and touching his hand "whatever is the matter?"

"Nothing, I am just thinking about Richard."

"Why did this happen?" She finally asked.

"Nothing that could interest you and if it did, I cannot tell you."

She took a step back. "Why I am interested? Because I care for you, Fitzwilliam, that is why."

Quickly as he realized his mistake, he stood up and touched her hand. "I am sorry." He paused. "But, I cannot tell you Elizabeth."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." he said and pushed her a little bit closer to him. "But If I tell you, I would expose myself and Richard as well. I cannot permit that."

"As you wish." She simply replied. "But, Darcy, I do not want you to keep any secrets from me."

"I will not."

"Promise me that you are always going to tell me the truth; for I do hate lies." she paused. "Promise me that you are not going to hurt me."

With a trembling voice, he replied "I promise."

Elizabeth then, stood on her toes and with a slow move; she leaned in and gently touched her lips with his. It was a sweet kiss at first, but then as Darcy regained his passion for her, he touched her waist with his left hand and pushed her close to him, while his right hand was in the nape of her neck. They were kissing passionately now. It was heaven.

"I cannot wait to make you my wife." She blushed.

"You are really impatient, my dear, have you noticed?"

* * *

A week past since this event and everything seemed to be in harmony. And Elizabeth was occupied most of the time with the preparations of the wedding. Colonel Fitzwilliam spent most of his time with Georgiana but he conversed with civility with Darcy. On the other hand, the latter gentleman was really confused. Courting Elizabeth lately was a real torture including cold baths. Her attention to him overwhelmed him, for she was too tempting for his own good. But lately, he could see her discomforted and he really had no idea what to do. He wanted to talk to her; for he was very concerned of what was happening in her mind. She seemed cold and stiff; she did not welcome his affection at all. In fact, they had not shared a kiss since the day after the fight with Richard. He tried many times to approach her, but there was always someone present. He wanted to be alone with her; he should find a chance.

That afternoon, when Elizabeth was ready for dinner she heard a knock on her chamber door. It was Darcy. Without saying anything, he bowed and quickly stepped in, afraid of being seen, he knew very well that it was too improper to be in her quarters. Elizabeth was surprised to see him, but she made no comment at all.

"Are you well, Darcy?" she asked and sat down. Darcy sat opposite to her and looked at her intensively. It was one of those intense looks that he lately used to pay on her. She first held his gaze, but as she sensed her blush, she looked down.

"I am fine." he paused "I see that you are prepared for dinner."

"It would be unusual for a lady to be accurate at time, but since many things occurred at this time, I realized that I needed time to relax"

"It must be a difficult time for a lady to prepare her wedding, especially for you, who have no one to help you with it."

"Ohh I have Georgiana" she replied cheerfully "I could not ask for a better assistance."

"Is that why you neglect me? Because of your busy schedule." He asked frankly.

She laughed. "Ohh how awful you must be feeling. I am sincerely sorry for doing so, for I did not know that the Master of Pemberley was eager for my attention"

"Stop it, Elizabeth" he replied seriously as she kept looking at her, laughing.

"Do not be such a child. Only two days left"

"You are probably right, my dear" he paused. "Are you nervous?"

"A little." she confessed.

"You will find myself very helpful and at last, I would find what you needed" he paused as he approached her. He took her hand in his and kissed it. But, he immediately regretted it; for he knew that once he would touch her skin, there was not going to be a limit. He was in her chamber thatwas not permitted. Without saying anything else, he slowly exited it and smiled back at her, as he whispered "I love you".

* * *

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam was in his chamber trying to read, but he could not. There was too much going on with his life and he did not know how to handle. Elizabeth was now Darcy'sbetrothed and well Darcy was Darcy. But, something was not right. Since he was away, he never really thought of Elizabeth, but his feelings came back immediately as he saw her. She looked so beautiful at the ball and she was so enchanting. But, he was not permitted to make such thoughts for Darcy's bride-to be. It was not right to make such thoughts, but he could not help it. Elizabeth deserved to know the truth and Darcy to pay for his actions. Colonel was never so afraid in his life, not even when he was at war. If he was going to reveal all the truth behind his cousin's action, that meant that he would definitely going to lose him and maybe even lose Elizabeth. Well, the problematic thing was that he cared more for Elizabeth than Darcy. She would be hurt; he knew it, but she could not live in a life that someone else planned.

It was the day of the wedding and Colonel stood outside the hall, waited to escort Elizabeth in and pass her on Darcy. Minutes later, when she arrived, his heart stopped as he saw her, for she was so beautiful that it hurt. She was dressed up in white and she held a bouquet in her lovely hands. She stood in front of him and smiled, waited for him to talk.

"I have never seen anything more beautiful."

"Thank you." She blushed. "Shall we?"

But, he did not move an inch. Instead, he took a deep breath and said "There is something I want to tell you." Her heart beat a little bit faster, but she did not say anything at all. Colonel took her hand and led her to the nearest chair "I have struggled too much on how to reveal this and I was not going to tell you, but I have changed my mind." he barely could breathe.

"You are scaring me. What is the matter?"

"You must not marry him." he said quickly.

Elizabeth laughed. "You must be joking."

But, he shook his head negatively.

* * *

Well, too much going on here and please do not hate me for this chapter. I know that it is bittersweet, but I wanted to give a little drama on the story. That is how I imagined it anyway. Tell me your opinion.

I am a little sad, knowing that many of you did not really liked the previous chapter, referring to those who read it, due to the fact that only few of you actually reviewed. I am sorry for losing your interest in my story:)


	18. The hearts must be broken

**Chapter 18: The heart was made to be broken.**

_"Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. It would be better if we died when they did, but we do not. -Stephen King"_

The carriage began moving slowly and soon it picked up speed, leaving family and friends behind. The couple had decided that they wanted to spend their honeymoon in London; they really did not care for the place as long they were together. Darcy held Elizabeth's hand tightly as he pulled her towards him. She tried hard not to cry.

"Are you alright my dear?" He asked as he brushed her hair and turned to look at him.

"Yes, of course." She lied; she was not. She could barely breathe. All the things Colonel Fitzwilliam told her kept coming back, but the truth was that they never left from her mind, not even an instant. He does not love you, they were his words. Especially that phrase could not escape her mind, it was trapped there.

"I suppose that you are tired" Elizabeth smiled and soon Darcy leaned in and captured her lips. How he had missed her lips, those lips, which looked like strawberries. He quickly pushed her closer to him so that he could feel her body touching his. He bit her bottom lip and slowly sucked it. As he pulled back, he kept his gaze fixed on her and soon he spoke "May I touch you?"

Elizabeth froze. That was the exact moment when everything was about to begin. As he leaned in again, their tongues moved as their kiss deepened. Soon, his hands found her back and slowly heunbuttoned her dress, only revealing the upper part of her dress. Then, he started kissing her neck and as he travelled down, soon he found her cleavage and ravished her skin. Elizabeth let her head roll back and moaned. Suddenly, he cupped one of her breasts and kissed it gently; she moaned louder. But, as he was about to proceed, she put her hand in his, making him stop. He looked up at her disappointed. "I do not think that the carriage is the right place..."

"I only want to touch you" he interrupted her. "After all, it is very ungenerous to deny anything from your husband at the very beginning of the wedding." She tried to smile but she could not. She was still disgusted with herself for welcoming his advances. She was angry at him, more than mad, but nevertheless it seemed that he had a strange power on her that she could not deny him anything. Even if she wanted to, she could not.

"You are too impatient, Fitzwilliam, we are about to arrive in London soon." She said as he made himself decent. Disappointment was written all over his face. He pushed her a little bit closer, so he could smell her lavender perfume that intrigued him so. But, he did not reply to this, for he knew well that she was right. If he was about to start kissing her, he knew that he could not restrain himself. She was too tempting for her own good.

After some minutes, Elizabeth was asleep with her head rested on his shoulder. He kept looking at her, amazed by her beauty. He could not still believe how lucky he was to find her. His days started when she smiled or laugh, or simply paid him a look and ended when he closed his eyes, but the torture did not stop there. He could see her even in his dreams, almost every day and if not, then he made sure that she would be in his thoughts for the rest of the day. A few times in someone's life there is absolutely clarity, for a few brief moments the silence drowns out the noise and the personcan feel rather than think and things seem so sharp. The world seems fresh again as though it just came out of existence. What he felt for her, was something that could not be explained or said, it could only be felt. It was such a precious feeling that it could consume him all without realizing it.

It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect. But how did she know that he loved her? The Colonel did not try to persuade or convince her; he just simply stated the facts as they were known to anyone, except her. She first tried to refuse it because she could not bear the thought of being deceived by him, it was impossible. However, it was another gentleman's testimony, which made her believe it eventually and gave in. She proved to be a fool, the greatest of all.

* * *

That afternoon, they were at last alone in the dining room of Darcy Manor, enjoying their meal. Elizabeth most of the time was silent and Darcy could realize a sudden coldness towards him, as though something troubled her. But, she still looked heavenly beautifully tempting.

_I have known her longer,_ Darcy thought as he observed his bride once more. _True, you have been inside the circle of her arms, tasted her mouth, felt the warmth of her, and that is something I have never had. But there is a part of her that is only for me. You cannot touch it, no matter how hard you might try. And after she has left you I will still be here, making her laugh. My light shining in her. I will still be here long after she has forgotten your name__._ He wanted to tell her that she was the first beautiful thing he had seen in all those years. That the sight of her yawning to the back of her hand was enough to drive the breath from him. How he sometimes lost the sense of her words in the sweet sound of her voice. He wanted to say that if she were with him, then somehow nothing could ever be wrong again.

"Do you love me?" She asked as she looked at his eyes again.

Instead of answering, he simply took her hand and kissed it. He then looked at her eyes and nodded.

"May I ask something else?" said she. "When are you going to drop the acting?"


	19. It must have been love

**Chapter 19: It must have been love**

_"This is the way the world ends, Not with a bang but a whimper" -T. S. Eliot_

"What?" he asked. His voice was steady and he seemed unaffected, as though he did not know to what she was referring to. The truth was that he had no idea.

"Didn't you hear what I say?" she asked and took away her hand from him. "I simply desire to know if you intend to stop the acting."

"What acting?"

"How could you, Darcy? How could you play with my life so?" her voice was high. She was angry and she tried to calm her nerves, but could not.

"Elizabeth, what on earth are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about." She paused and looked at his eyes angrily. "I am talking of this ridiculous marriage of ours"

"Ridiculous?" He almost yelled. "Madam, I demand you to tell me at once what you mean."

"I am referring to your agreement with Lady Catherine" she screamed.

Darcy's eyes widen and for a moment he froze. He could not think or breathe; he just blinked sometimes. Suddenly, he hit the table with his right hand and said "Who told you that?"

Elizabeth simply looked at him, trying not to cry. But, that was almost impossible. She then, put her hands on her face just to hide it from him. Darcy kept looking at her until he stood up and slowly approached her. He gently put his hands on hers, putting them down, revealing her face. But, she was looking down on the floor and Darcy with his hand touched her cheek and turned gently her face to look at him. "Elizabeth..." His voice was soft and caring.

"I loved you!" She yelled. She jumped up out of the chair so quickly that he never saw it coming. "I loved you, and you destroyed me. You took my heart and ripped it up. You might as well have staked me!" The change in her features also caught Darcy by surprise. Her voice filled the room. So much grief, so much anger. So unlike the usual Elizabeth. She strode toward him and hand clasped over his chest. "I loved you and you used me the whole time."

"And I love you" he replied quietly and took a step closer to her "If you doubting my intentions, let me say that the deal hardly affected my choice." He paused. "It was always you and always will be."

"You made a fool of me, Darcy" she screamed and wiped with her palm the tears, which were now falling down on her cheeks. "You lied to me! You hurt me! But I suppose that this is natural, since you never felt the slightest esteem towards me."

Darcy within in a second, he was standing in front of her and said "Elizabeth, be still; don't struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation."

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to hate you." she replied and pushed him away, but immediately he encircled his arms around her, forcing her to stand still. Elizabeth was now trapped in his arms and could not make a move, until she suddenly broke. She let herself fall into his embrace and put her hand on his chest, until she could not breathe from the crying. Darcy tightened his hug and kissed her forehead, brushing her hair. After a second, she took some steps away from him and looked at him in the eyes. "Tell me, how could you?"

But he did not speak; he just only looked at her. "Richard told you, didn't he?"

"It hardly matters"

It was his turn to scream, loudly "After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" he paused "I can see it in your eyes, that you honestly believe that I do not want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"

Elizabeth froze "No, you do not love me." she screamed back. "I thought you were totally different from what I see in front of me." He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man, with passion and pure love. He loved her so deeply that he could not imagine his life without her, it would tear him apart. "I have been such a fool." She was calmed now, more calmed that she have ever been in her whole life, it was despair.

"But, I love you Elizabeth. Truly I do" He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced-or seemed to face-the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.

"I just need to be left alone" said she.

He loved her, and would love her; and defy her, and this miserable bodily pain. He opened his mouth. The words were there. He was about to say them when a jolt of terror went through him, the terror of someone who, wandering in a mist, pauses only to realise that they have stopped inches from the edge of a gaping abyss. The way she was looking at him - she could read what was in his eyes, he realised. It must have been written plainly there, like words on the page of a book. There had been no time, no chance, to hide it. But there was nothing to say. There was only emptiness, as there had been before her. As there would always be.

"I have lost everything", he replied and sat on a chair. "Everything". He looked at her as a man might look at a faded flower he had plucked, in which it was difficult for him to trace the beauty that had made him pick and so destroy it.

Elizabeth froze; she had never seen such display of vulnerability in his person. She closed her eyes and then walked away. But, Darcy caught her before she was about to enter her chamber. Elizabeth turned to face him "What is it now?"

"You must let me explain" he begged.

"It would not alter anything if you do; it would not erase the fact that you manipulated me"

"I did not" he whispered, but she was not there to hear it. She had already stepped into her quarters and closed the door behind her.

The whole world was one big giant ball of light to him, and he felt like a bug inside it, waiting to be squashed. He felt like there was no sense of purpose, no direction. There was nothing waiting for him at the end of the rainbow. No pot of gold for all the pain he was feeling now, or the pain he has felt before. He just felt empty and lost, as if he was looking for something that can never be found. He felt lost that he could not explain it to anyone and that no one would understand. He felt left out, standing alone, waiting endlessly for a ray of hope which probably would never come. But nothing ever made this pain go away. Or the fear. He did not fear what people fear. Not the loss of life or riches—Roman feared losing himself in this swamp called existence. He feared becoming the person he did not want to become, and most of all, he feared himself. A Fear about his own potential to destroy and destruct. To obliterate. To suffocate his own life. He feared all that and he was afraid no one will ever know what his heart ached for, or how bad he had it. How it was supposed to feel after all when you lose a part of yourself? It was like a part of your heart ripped out, leaving you breathless. Elizabeth belonged to his soul, in fact she was his soul; he breathed only for her and spoke when she wanted him to do so. His life now was all about her, really.

Elizabeth hours later had decided to exit the room. She made believe herself was that she could not bear to be left alone, like that room would shallow her in, but the deepest part of herself wanted to see him, if he was alright. When she knocked in his door, there was no answer; she then walked to the drawing room when she finally found him. He was seated in a chair, sleeping, having a bottle of brandy next to him. Elizabeth approached him and observed his features a little more; he was so handsome and drunk.

And once, he startled awake with his face wet and his chest aching, she reached out to lay her hand on top of his. The gesture was so tentative, her expression so anxious, you would think she had never touched a man before. As if she was worried that he might break or burn or bite. Her cool hand lay on his for a moment, gentle as a moth. She squeezed his hand softly, waited, then pulled away. With all the awkwardness of a young lover, she was trying to comfort him; she didn't have the slightest idea how. He looked at her, without speaking. But, there she was, more beautiful than ever. Her eyes were red and they had something about them that Darcy could not clearly understand.

"At least, believe me when I say that I love you." It was all that he managed to say.

But, she did not speak. There is a point when the anguished soul finally despairs. A moment in life when the heart, the will, and even the spirit crumble. Some say that after much grief and drowning in tears, it is possible to pick up the pieces and carefully repair what was shattered. I say may. For the chains of despair have no key, and the soul destroyed by that monster can never hope to be unaffected. There are things done that cannot be undone.

* * *

Thanks again to my beta, who is beyond perfection. Please do not hate me for this chapter, things will get better in the future. The previous chapter is edited if you want to read it again and again I am sorry for the mistakes.

Tell me your opinion about this chapter:)


	20. That's how the world ended

**Chapter 20: That's how the world ended**

Elizabeth and Darcy sat opposite to one another in the library, reading something. But the truth was that neither of them paid any attention to it, they just stared at the pages. They were lost in their thoughts. It was morning and after taking breakfast separately, when Darcy entered the library, he found her already in. He decided that it would be amazing if he could feel her presence near him, even without talking. Elizabeth felt the same; even though she was mad and did not want to see him anymore, the darkest part of herself wanted him near her, all the time.

They were seated like that for almost an hour, until Darcy decided to break the silence and said,"Elizabeth" she turned her face to look at him and when she did, he continued "We need to talk, you know."

She nodded. "Yes, I know."

"Are you ready?"

Elizabeth stared at him for quite a while, trying to calm herself. She still could not forget the things the colonel had said to her. They were still there, torturing her.

_As the colonel indicated to her, she sat on the chair and after a while he sat down as well. They looked at each other without talking, but Elizabeth, who could not stand the silence anymore she spoke. "What do you mean that I must not marry him?"_

_"He does not love you, Elizabeth" he almost whispered._

_Elizabeth laughed "I see that you still insist on this absurd opinion."_

_"It is not my opinion" he paused "he had told me himself."_

_Elizabeth froze and then smiled a little. She could not, of course,believe such things, because they were the most ridiculous things she had ever heard. It was not possible. "Pray tell me..."_

_"There are some things that you do not know."_

_A small frown was created on her forehead. "Tell me" she demanded._

_"Let me start from the beginning" he replied and looked at her eyes. "Did you know that he bought Longbourn?"_

_"What?" she almost yelled and he nodded._

_"Yes, indeed. It happened when we had gone to London together, but he made me promise that I would not tell a soul" he paused. "He wanted you gone, Elizabeth, can you not see?"_

_"That is absurd Colonel" she said "Why would he want such a thing?"_

_"He told me that he wanted you to have something of your own. Because..." he paused, ashamed to continue "You had nothing that could tempt anyone to marry you."_

_Elizabeth did not know what to think or say. She remembered the conversation she overheard months ago, when the two gentlemen were in dining room discussing about her. Indeed, such words came out of his mouth but that did not mean that he still believed them, after all they were spoken in the beginning of theiracquaintance, when they did not like each other at all, but now everything was different. Elizabeth knew that he loved her, didn't she?_

_"If indeed such words were spoken, why he want to marry me then?"_

_He looked at her eyes and then said "Because he was forced to."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He had made an agreement with Lady Catherine." he paused "He had to choose a wife and announce her at the Christmas ball."_

_She froze; she felt her hands shaking and her heart beating so fast. "I do not understand"_

_"Lady Catherine made him promise that he would find a wife until the Christmas ball." he paused. "Many months ago, Darcy was in need of money and his aunt agreed to help him, because otherwise, it would probably have a bad effect on the family's fortune. They agreed with one condition; he had to find a wife. Darcy postponed the task as much as he could, but when we were in London, a letter arrived from her, saying that this would be his last chance." He paused again to take a deep breath "You can rely on Bingley's testimony as well, for we were present when the letter arrived and he is also aware of this deal."_

_Elizabeth kept looking at him, when she finally said "But, why he accepted in the first place? He could have borrowed money from anyone."_

_"Yes, he could" the Colonel paused, "but she told him that Georgiana was in need of a woman companion, that she could not longer live without a female influence. Lady Catherine as you know is childless and loves Georgiana as her own daughter; it is natural to want the best for her. If he did not agree on the deal, then she would take Georgiana's guardianship from us."_

_"Is that even possible?" It was all that she managed to say._

_"Yes" he said and took her hand in his "With her connections and influence, she was able to do it. She had the means to take Georgiana away from him."_

_Elizabeth could hardly breathe. Everything was so confusing. "If so, then why he chose me?" she paused "Why are you so sure that he does not love me?"_

_"I am Elizabeth, I just know it" he said with a cold voice. "I think that his time was running out and since there was no..."_

_"Are you telling me that he proposed me, because he had not another option?" asked she angrily. He nodded. "He could have asked Penelope."_

_"He could not." he replied instantly. "Penelope is engaged" he paused "She always were. That is why she left him in the first place, she knew very well that they could not be together; her marriage was planned since infancy."_

_Elizabeth looked at her lap, not able to comprehend what Richard was trying to tell her. "I cannot..."_

_Richard touched her arm, just to comfort her "He did not tell you the reason of our fighting that night, did he?" Elizabeth looked up at him and shook her head negatively. "He knew my affection for you."_

_Her eyes widen. "Your what?"_

_"I loved you Elizabeth and he knew" he paused "I still do."_

She breathed heavily before she decided to speak "No, not yet."

Darcy looked at her once more and immediately stood up. He slowly approached her and took her hand in his "I know that I have hurt you, but please do not ever doubt for one second my love for you." Here she was, all his, trying her best to give him all she could. How could he ever hurt her so?

She looked at him in the eyes and said "But how can I not Fitzwilliam, when you lied to me?" she paused. "Love is not supposed to hurt." She had never been this mad or hurt at anyone before. It was one thing to be attacked by someone you hated, but this was something else. This was the kind of hurt that could only be inflicted by someone you loved, who you thought loved you. It was sort of like being stabbed from the inside out. "When you love someone, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling-like having your heart carved out." She paused to wipe the tear that was falling on her cheek. "That is what you did, Fitzwilliam. I had told you not to hurt me." Darcy quickly grabbed Elizabeth from her seat and pushed her towards him without even saying anything; he quickly hugged her and brushed her hair. She let her head rest on his shoulder and he gently kissed her forehead. "How am I supposed to trust you again?" asked she.

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Did you expect that? Do you think Colonel is telling the truth? Tell me your opinion!


	21. Crystal Clear

**Chapter 21: Crystal Clear**

When Elizabeth, the next morning, opened her eyes, her gaze was focused on an envelope placed on her pillow next to her. Her name was written on it, in his hand.

_Dearest,_

_I have spent many hours thinking about us -about you. I am bond to you, heart and soul and I cannot stand this distance any longer, neither can I stand the fact that you believed that my love for you was not real. But it is, as real as you and I are. That is why I think it is my obligation to address the matter which lies between us, a matter so painful that I can scarcely bear it. I will confess everything I have done or said with the hope that you will understand and forgive me._

_But, first of all, let me tell you this, let me promise to you that I will never hurt you again. My love, you have my word not as a mere gentleman but as the man, who is irrevocably bound to you byloving and wanting to cherish you. To simply ask for forgiveness is too bold, but yet I beg it. I promise that I will never hurt you again, not even attempt to keep any secret from you. Because you have all my follies and pride, all my love, hopes and dreams. They only belonged to you, to begin with. Furthermore, I want to apologize for destroying your dream. You do not know how sorry I am for us not spending our wedding day as you wished; I am sorry even for making you doubt my love, or regret our match. Believe me, when I say that all I have done was because my heart sincerely aches for you; I am a selfish man and I only want you for my own._

_I do not know what Richard told you but I am sure that he did not lie; he is not the kind of man not to be trusted. He is hurt and he had every right to be, but I believe that he meant well when he confessed his thoughts and worries to you. He loved you -maybe he still does, that is why he told you the truth. He wanted your happiness, he wanted you to marry a man that you deserved and I am sad to admit that I feel that I am not. Nevertheless, I feel blessed to be married to you, to love and to be loved by you. You are a rare gem that I am happy to possess._

_Let me start by telling you about my agreement with Lady Catherine. Indeed, she forced me to get married because of Georgiana's sake. You see, she loves her excessively and she believed that it would be best for her to have a feminine influence. I do not blame her for believing what she thought it was right, but I do blame her for intruding in my life. But, the fact is that in a way she did not. You see, I was going to propose to you anyway, so she practically saved me much time of not spending my life without you. I did not use you, or manipulate you as you accused me of, I loved you, I still do and that is why I chose to spend the rest of my life with you, as your husband._

_I do now realize that I have not told you the time when I truly knew that I loved you. It all started when you asked Richard to teach you the waltz. I can still recall all those dreadful thoughts that troubled my mind, or the feelings that burned my heart, when I heard that he would be able to touch you. I admit that I felt jealous, if those feelings could be caused of jealousy, but I think I did. I could not stand nor can I still bear the thought of someone else being able to touch you, or simply being do close to you. When I left for London, I was certain of my feelings and I had almost madeup my mind to marry you. That's why I decided to buy Longbourn. Yes, indeed I bought it only for you. My intentions were completely pure, I knew how much you loved it and since I had the opportunity to make you happy, I decided to act upon it. Longbourn was your home and I intendedfor it to stay thus._

_I love you, loveliest Elizabeth and I will always do. I can't think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time, without interruption, endlessly, even though I feel that here in this world there's no undisturbed place for our love, neither in the village nor anywhere else. I have acted that way and hide things from you thinking of your happiness, alone. It was a great folly not to reveal the real truth to you, when you had told me once that you did not want to be hurt by lies and misunderstandings. I can comprehend your anger and mistrust in me, for I acted foolishly, but I cannot understand the fact that you doubt for one second my love for you. It is the most absurd thing: not wanting you. For you know well that I cannot live without needing you. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems, prejudice or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no you or I – only us, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close._

_It has made me better loving you, I have to admit. It has made me wiser, and easier, and brighter. I used to want a great many things before, and to be angry that I did not have them. Theoretically, I was satisfied. I flattered myself that I had limited my wants. But I was subject to irritation; I used to have morbid sterile hateful fits of hunger, of desire. Now I really am satisfied, because I can't think of anything better. It's just as when one has been trying to spell out a book in the twilight, and suddenly the lamp comes in. I had been putting out my eyes over the book of life, and finding nothing to reward me for my pains; but now that I can read it properly I see that it's a delightful story and always will be. I was born when you kissed me. I died when you seemed to hate me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. I need you back; please forgive me._

_Forever yours,_

_Your devoted husband._

When she was now seated in the library and Darcy came in, it was the sixth time that she read the letter. As he entered, he stopped for a moment and looked at her, but she seemed so concentrated on it, that she did not realize him coming in. He slowly approached her and sat next to her; she immediately turned to look at him. Their eyes met and it was like they had fallen in love with each other all over again. He touched her hand and brought it to his lips, she moaned a little. How she had missed his touch and that look on his eyes, which declared silently his passionate love for her!She then touched his cheeks with her palms and brought his face closer to her and kissed him on the lips. It was not a passionate kiss, but as they kept doing so, all the bitterness they had was now transformed into passion. And when her lips met his, he knew that he could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when he kissed that woman; he knew that his love would last forever.

As they parted, Elizabeth kept staring at him "You must think me horrible, Fitzwilliam." she paused "How could I ever doubt you when I love you so much?"

Darcy pushed her closer to him and kissed her forehead "No, I do not, on the contrary I think you are the most fascinating woman." he paused as he heard her giggle "We both been fools, especially me, but everything will be fine now."

"But..."

He raised her chin and said "No, Elizabeth you musy not blame yourself."

"You are so forgiving; far more forgiving than I"

"That is not true, at all" he laughed.

"We are all fools in love! I do not wish anything to get between us anymore, or ever again." She paused "Do you know how lost I felt without you?"

"Yes, I know, I felt the same sorrow as well. I cannot live without you, Elizabeth" he said and she smiled. "Have you realized that we did not send time together as we should have as a married couple?"

"Yes" she replied and looked down. "If I could, I would revise everything"

"It is not too late" he took her hand in his. "Would you think me a presumptuous rake if I were to ask you to join me upstairs in our chambers, Mrs Darcy?"

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Special thanks to my lovely beta! She is truly one of the best people I've known. And thank you so much for your reviews and especially to those who made them long.

Tell me if you liked the chapter, you know how much I love to hear from you. Did their makeup catch your expectations? Did you like the letter?


	22. The wedding night

**Chapter 22: The Wedding Night**

_*Strong T, containing mature scenes*_

"It is not too late" He took her hand in his, "Would you think me a presumptuous rake, if I were to ask you to join me upstairs in our chambers, Mrs Darcy?"

Elizabeth's heart stopped for a moment, for she knew very well what that meant. She had heard her mother once mentioning the wife's duties in the master bedchamber. But, Elizabeth could only nod. He then, offered her his arm and escorted her to their chambers above stairs and stopped at the door.

"May I join you shortly?" He simply said and she nodded again.

Darcy leaned down and touched his lips with hers. He had only intended it to be a quick peck on thelips, just to gain some strength from her sweetness, but he knew deep inside that once he would touch her, it would be impossible to keep his hands away from her.

She leaned into him, and he instantly touched her waist and pushed her into him, as he ran his hands up and down her back. Without realizing it, he opened the chamber's door, without having to stopkissing her and he pushed her inside. Once they were in, with a quick move, he pushed the door with his foot, making it close behind them. Elizabeth gasped at the loud noise and pulled away, but Darcy brought her back instantly to his embrace again. She stood on her toes to kiss him better, as their tongues moved rhythmically. He then, moved to kiss her neck and then her jaw.

"You smell heavenly" he claimed as he kissed her neck again. But as he heard her giggle, he could not wait a minute longer. He knew that he had to love her now.

Immediately, he carried her, bridal style to the bed, where he put her on the bed. Elizabeth lay back, pulling him with her and he covered her body with his. She pushed her hips towards him as he paid special attention to that area, which he desired most at the moment. Her moans were intoxicating to him, dragging him more to her. He felt her hands entering his coat and then his vest, trying to pullthem off. She raised her head and kissed him deeply, as she tried to untie his cravat. Darcy thought that he could help her with that task. He then helped her remove his shirt, revealing to her his barechest. Elizabeth's eyes widened, for she did not expect her husband to be so handsome, even with little clothes on! She felt the desire for him moving through her spine.

She sat up in bed, as he threw his clothes to the floor, only leaving on his breeches, which were about to be removed soon too. He returned to her arms lowering them to the mattress as he kissed her jaw and neck, pushing her dress down. With a quick move, he lifted her up and started tounbutton her dress and then her corset. Within a few seconds, she was naked. He did not wait asecond to just observe her, on the other hand, he just pushed her into his embrace and he started kissing her, moving slowly down to her breasts, where he found the immediate object of his desire. It was the most beautiful breasts he had ever seen in his life and he was a lucky man to possess them, as well as the woman who had them. His lips automatically moved to kiss her nipples and then sucking them, as he heard her loud moans of pleasure. Elizabeth had never felt such an amount of pleasure, as her husband was pleasuring her body.

Darcy could no longer stand the tension through his body and he pulled away from her, only to strip away his trousers. He then immediately, pulled her back, just to taste her lips and tongue again, it was heaven. He continued to touch her hips, as he laid her down on bed again. He was about to find the object of his desire soon.

As their lovemaking finished and he lay on top of her, breathing rapidly, he once again smelled her perfume, which had a strange affect on him. As strange as the intimacy they had finished a second ago. He waited for so long to make her his; crying out his name, as he gave her pleasure. He settled himself next to her and after bringing her close to him, where he could touch her again, he kissed her once, or twice, or too many times that could be lost in count.

"I love you so much" he finally said as he kissed her hand and brushed her hair.

She laughed "I love you too."

"Do you really?" He smiled and pushed her closer to him, but she soon pulled away.

"I am feeling a little tired" she said and tried to stand up, but Darcy's hand grabbed her arm, making her stop.

"Where are you going?"

"To my chambers, of course."

He laughed and Elizabeth looked at him with surprise "Why? Do you wish to sleep away from me?"

"But, that's what I thought that you wanted."

"Oh, no" he claimed "I do not wish that, at all." He pushed her to him, making her lay next to him again. He then put a quick kiss on her lips "You see my dearest that is impossible, for you have found quite a possessive husband."

She laughed "Is that so?"

"Yes" he smiled and kissed her again, but deeply this time, as to make Elizabeth loose all coherent thought. "But, I think it would be better to show you how possessive I am" Without waiting for her reply, he immediately pulled her into his embrace, where he could feel his chest touching hers. He started kissing her neck and then her jaw, as she shortly comforted herself under him, opening her legs a little, just for him to find an easy entrance.

Elizabeth opened her eyes the next morning, just a pair of blue eyes looking at was her husband's eyes and his sweet smile, which were the first thing she saw. She smiled back and curled herself to him, as he kissed her forehead.

"Good morning" he said "I hope you slept well."

"Yes, I did thank you." she paused "Very well, indeed."

"I am glad to hear that." He said with quite a satisfied smile on his handsome face.

She smiled as she asked, "Were you up long?"

"I do not know. It felt like eternity, though." he kissed her lips. The truth was that he must have been up, looking at her, for more than two hours. Just looking at her, it felt like a dream, a sweet dream he had to be careful not to disturb. So sweet that Darcy thought that he had died and gone to heaven. "You are so beautiful, my love."

She laughed, "Thank you."

He kissed her deeply once more and cupped her breasts. He felt his desire for her, rising up again, as he touched her skin, realizing the impact on his person. His desire for her was endless and he could no longer wait to bring her pleasure. Hearing her moans and cries of ecstasy, drove him quite mad. He had to take her. Now.

* * *

I am sincerely sorry, my dear readers, for this long delay. You do not know how truly sorry I am for not uploading sooner, but life sucks. I had so many things going on my life that I had not time, just to simply sit down and write. But I am back and I am excited to find you again, I hope only that you missed me. Special thanks to my beta!

I was not sure If you are happy about this chapter, because it is short, but I intended to make it longer. I was just not certain whether you like this kind of scenes, because I like them very much and I am full of ideas. So, I need you to tell me if you want to read more of this kind of stuff and if you want them to be more detailed. Do not forget to tell me your opinion.

P.S I just made a goodreads account and I am hooked. If you like, add me: elizaazoo


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